Change. Whether it is worth being exchanged?
What is change? On this question there is no definite answer as well as it is impossible to define what is the truth. It is known that everyone has it the. For one even the interested look of darling towards other woman can cause torment of jealousy and the sea of suspicions, for others - passionate dances, and even the free relations are a norm.
the Concept of norm depends, in turn, on education, an environment and, in my personal opinion, personal development of the person. Some manage to justify the frequent absences “on the left“ with animal instincts, at all forgetting, than, actually, the person differs from animals - reason superiority over physiology. But it, besides, put everyone.
Other question - whether it is possible to accept norm of other person if you love it, but his standards of behavior strongly differ from your own? There is an opinion that men treat women as they allow to treat themselves - if the woman closes eyes to “animal instincts“ of the male, well, why and not to change? And whether it will be change?
We will assume, you and your partner understand as change same, but one all - gave in to temptation. To forgive or banish? Contrary to my own expectations, the majority both women, and men, expressed opinion that would forgive change, but it should live with it hard: loss of trust, constant tension and expectation of a new stab in the back, big tendency to temptation as revenge and other … Perhaps it is simpler to break off such relations once and for all? Really a lean compromise is better than a fat lawsuit?
Some expressed opinion that change does not exist in principle: that is one of partners stopped loving another (or perhaps at all did not love), and therefore gives himself to other relations. Strangely enough, all participants of discussion met in one - there is no so-called “physical“ change. The body is with all the heart inseparable. And if the person touched with alcohol, you will tell, and did not understand what does?
On it to me the joke in which the husband wakes up in a terrible hangover after a meeting with friends is remembered, does not remember at all that was the day before, and sees that the wife not only does not shout at it, but also carefully made to it a brine, a breakfast and a lovely note with words of love. The husband shocked, asks the son: from what such grace? On what the son explains that yesterday the husband, in an insole drunk, came back home and beat off the wife with words: “Do not touch me, the woman, I am married!“
Laughter laughter, and many a true word is spoken in jest. And if with physical change everything clear, as they say, the facts “is available“ (or perhaps and on a face), then how to be with spiritual change? Whether there is it in general? Again a question with what sense puts each of us in this concept. For someone spiritual change is straight talks of the husband with his girlfriend of the childhood, for someone - care of other people`s children, dogs, property, and for some - a car priority before the beloved though for me, for example, it is in general incomparable things.
What you meant by the word “change“ - physical contacts or spiritual - the main thing another: whether you will be able to accept the person back, so to forgive him and again to trust? I think, the statement “is fair here you will not try yet, do not learn“. Change - the heartrending experience for the loving person, and is heavy not only to the one who fell a victim of change, but also to responsible. As a rule, in couples where is though a love particle whether the traitor suffers slightly no more partner - sense of guilt, understanding of own mistake, a grief that he hurt darling …
needs to be understood - both partners, another matter - as far as are always guilty of change. The reasons can be much, but all of them, in fact, are superficial, except for such that the love passed, the relations sputtered out and partners are together only by force of habit or some other “wordly“ reasons. Unfortunately, often the person does not have enough courage to tell about it is opened for the partner, and the double life begins.
My opinion such is that if you believe in the love to the person if you believe that he sincerely regrets and understands the mistake, you believe in his love - it is worth forgiving and trying once again. The broken vase can be stuck together, but it will become more fragile and you will subconsciously preserve it against repeated falling. It is worth learning a lesson from this life situation, otherwise the destiny and will throw over and over again to you the same rake. Nobody will give guarantees for the happy future, perhaps, except you.
If you love yourself, then respect yourself, you appreciate yourself then your partner will respect and appreciate you first of all. Listen to the heart - it is only the right decision.