With which of parents to leave the child after divorce?
the Family are established and functions as institute not for searches of livelihood, sex, cohabitation, violence of passions, etc. of two individuals of a different floor. Ideally the family is necessary to mankind as the environment for full education of children. All the rest - means. And the nature painfully punishes us when we are these purposes and we confuse means.
there was a child - now his education, and nothing else, became the purpose for us as parents. In case of direct threat of own life and to health, the child, certainly, has to be protected by society from ill treatment of parents and have the right for them to complain. However it is tempting to attract the child with the witness of the conflict between parents categorically inadmissibly how many years to it would not be, and as if it seemed to the dissatisfied party.
Finally our purpose - not to achieve punishment of the offender at any cost, and to get out of a conflict situation with the smallest losses. Whether it is worth endowing even for the sake of justice health of own child?! It, acting as the witness, apparently, for the best, turns thereby into the instrument of self-damage. In consciousness of the child only a veracious statement is: “My mother - the best on light, and my father - the best on light“. Therefore condemnation, the certificate against “the best“ destroys mentality of the child in its basic foundations.
To make the most certain way so that the computer “froze up“ - to give it obviously not solvable task, inconsistent at the level of system programs. If you do not want to receive the absolute adult neurotic and chronic psychosomatics (and already more than hundred most widespread diseases are officially carried to psikhosomatoza) - do not undermine fundamental representations of the child concerning his parents.
After divorce it is better for child to remain with that from parents who prove most loyally and kindly to the former spouse. It is supposed that in this case an image of “bad mother“ or “the bad father“ will aggressively not be spread in consciousness of the child. Though, of course, it only smaller of the evils because, losing man`s or female behavior model in the course of education, it will be already extremely difficult for child to establish a full-fledged family. Destroying the family, we, unfortunately, include chain reaction of destruction of families in future generations.
In life there is everyone, but for us has to be the law: “We - big, you - small; we give, and we give with love, you take, and take without condemnation. Because when you become big, you will also give everything that you will be able, to the children. And they will not condemn you because you for them exist “the best parent“ what and we were for you“.
Notice - “we“, but not “I“. In consciousness of the child there have to be “father“ and “mother“ together irrespective of the fact how and where there live carriers of these its sacred images. The concepts “mother is better than the father“ and “father is better than mother“ are inherently destructive because “mother“ and “father“ for the child - not two equal persons as, for example, for the judge, and two certainly recognized the authority on performance man`s and female roles in the world of people.