Whether the true love cures sincere wounds? Whether
It is possible to construct the harmonious relations in couple, without having solved the internal problems before? Many find it difficult to answer this question. But recently more and more people incline that the close, sincere relations are capable to cure any sincere wounds.
many couples in which he or she revealed and changed for the better Meet. Perhaps, it is all about sincere desire of the partner to make so that to the loved one with it it was good?
Many in conflict situations involuntarily behave the same as their parents. The nature is so arranged that transfers to adulthood of people gender roles, the relation to life, even the words and intonation familiar to it since the childhood. Once you observe yourself, and it will become right there noticeable how during a showdown mother or the father suddenly “joins“. The same unpleasant words fall upon the partner, acquaintances since the childhood arguments are brought, that is everything occurs according to the same scenario which was played once in own family.
In imitation there is nothing terrible until this image does not begin to operate life. If to a meeting with darling there was no occasion to doubt the correctness and the correct relation to life, then, having met it, it is necessary to realize it as fine chance to become more freely and more acutely. The loved one bears in himself own experience, and it is worth to remember that it had a family absolutely another.
Many unconsciously like to adjust the person to the representations. If in time to realize this dangerous illusion and to learn to accept the person with all his not ideality, then it will become much easier to come into contacts with other people too. Quite often everything occurs according to such scheme: pleasure from finding of the adherent (as at once it seemed), and then irritation from - that coincidence in views less and less. It is worth trying to look at himself with eyes of the loved one and to realize that it is necessary to be exempted from a past framework as much as possible. The strong relations arise at the one who learned to love the person of the present, but not thought up with all his desires and preferences.
A difficult stage of merge there pass nearly all couples. But if it dragged on, then in the relations there is a discomfort connected with restriction of freedom. Breath of one for two all the same will not be - it needs to be acquired accurately. The requirement of a binding of darling to itself is a consequence of internal experiences and problems, that is a painful lack of tenderness and love.
If the destiny presented the person who is ready to carry on hands, it is necessary just to rejoice, but not to perceive him as a tablet from tortures. Nobody knows how the relations will develop further. If in the beginning the relations people can be without a break for days together, then then everything can change. For example, will offer someone from two work which will take away the lion`s share of time. There will be nothing left to another how to reconcile to the fact that the attention from outside became less. The main thing - not to show self-pity, and to try easy to adapt to circumstances, without having lost the feature.
Quite often it happens so that after merge one all the time afloat, and another lives not the life, but the strongest. In such situation about any harmony out of the question. Always it is necessary to allow the person to remain at the views and desires. Often, looking back at unfortunate life of the parents, many who decide to live together, claim that they will have everything in a different way. People want to escape from parental model of a family also consider that will relieve their own marriage of sorrows of the childhood. But the antecedents influence the person rather strongly therefore everything is better to release, without tormenting itself with analogies like “husband behaves the same as the father behaved with mother“. It is worth bringing in the relations more than something special, to engender own traditions and to develop them, that is to write the separate scenario for the family.
The new relations, of course, will not relieve in a flash of complexes and neurosises. It is impossible to sign the contract “You Be Such, and I Will Be Such“. All changes happen to time. They - a side effect of the relations. After them everyone opens in each other something new - already all life.