What is love from the point of view of the theory of domination?
We fall in love with the people possessing the qualities lacking us to win against those who try to dominate over us or did it in the past. the Main instinct - to win against
the Main instinct of the person is the instinct of self-preservation and a survival. First of all we want to survive in the broadest sense of this word, and for this purpose we should win against the opponents - those who try to dominate over us, to take away from us some benefits or to impede the implementation of our plans.
If on our memory someone successfully dominated over us in the past (as a rule, it was one of parents, the elder brother or the sister, someone from schoolmates is more rare), then we for the rest of life keep fear of repetition of the same situation. It induces us to approach people who as it seems to us, are capable to resist to those people, with whom we got beaten in communication in due time.
When we fall in love, we want to get support of the person who will help us to do that we want despite of the hindrances repaired by our environment. But there is more to come. We try to spend with darling much time “to solve“ him and to adopt his states - those states which have to add our personality so that to make us invincible.
How to achieve mutual love?
the Mutual love is a situation when other person is in a perenimaniye of your qualities as in great need as you need familiarizing with its states. And the unrequited love is a situation when you for a victory need its qualities, and to it - not yours, and some others. Therefore, to force the person to fall in love with you, it is necessary to learn what negative experience he endured in the life and to show it as you cope with similar situations. Unfortunately, a task this difficult as people usually hide unpleasant memoirs.
We will give an example of how the theory of domination at the choice of the partner in life works.
Nikolay, the student - the excellent student of mathematical faculty, fell in love with the girl by the name of Olga whose major activity was to go on provincial towns in quality … the psychic. Parents could not understand, than bewitched their clear head - the son this person whose all education consisted in two courses of college of culture. The reason was in the following: Nikolay hated economics department on which it was dragged by parents, and wanted to dispose of the destiny independently, but did not possess those qualities which would allow it to escape from - under parental guardianship. To receive them, it had to absorb that condition of independence which was radiated literally by Olga.
of Roditelyamnikolaya managed to persuade Olga to leave i it, however and the following choice of the son was so exotic. Soon that soon married independent and independent single mother with two children, and is much more senior than himself, and with pleasure moved from parents to its modest apartment.
Who falls in love often?
As is seen, the love is a feeling by and large egoistical which true sense is the desire of the person to catch those qualities which are not enough for it to take the next vital boundary. Moreover, the more tasks the person sets in the life, the more often he falls in love. In particular, it is visible according to biographies of governors. Tsars are reformers who often had to fight against the environment, are known for the love affairs (Peter I and Alexander II were such, for example), and in what plans entered only to support old regimes or to carry out hardly noticeable reforms, on the contrary, were exemplary family men (Alexander III, Nicholas II).
“Unbeaten“ the people who Grew up in hothouse conditions to whom they never hurt cannot love
, did not interfere with their development and implementation of vital plans, as a rule, are not capable of strong feelings. They do not need to fight, so, they do not feel need for obtaining the new qualities strengthening their personality. And on the contrary, people with dramatic destiny are, as a rule, capable even to frighten of the temperament and persistence in courtings.