Rus Articles Journal

Whether it is possible to model love?

the Most sad outcome when in early children`s models of love there was very few safety and cares. And we found it difficult to build to ourselves the strong “internal defender“. That part of the personality which “on guards of borders“ and at the expense of which we can quite without “the alarms which are taking down a roof“ to survive in difficulties of the Big world.

Then searches to themselves the love / partner will be total concern to find someone real who will be here such “defender“ in the flesh. The guarantor of your feeling of safety - in the world. But you understand as far as it is illusory. And it is necessary to pay you - adult - almost infantile form of dependence. Because there are men with very proprietary models of love - cares. But all of them realize it at full conviction that you “his woman“ “with all giblets“. And, as a rule, it is necessary to them a heap of confirmations, and “a constant stream“.

Everyone and each of us tries on to Another first “model of the relations of love“, often unconscious “form of personal paradise“. Generally, qualities of this model are defined: care about each other, honesty, openness, fidelity. And love. But here each of us in own way understands all these definitions - and carries out. From here and tragedies “not joining“.

Care about each other. For someone it is left on the “money for economy“ refrigerator in time - and I “went to drink with children of beer“. For someone it is 24 hours a day together - and here so forever … Here the closeness also begins …

Well and sex, of course. Pleasure or duty? And if temperaments different? To me once a week “for eyes“, and to my partner every day - and that, only once?! And in the morning, for a tone - that, again not?! “You do not love me!!!“

A the most pleasant and exciting relations are eternal searches of the ideal relations, fitting of candidates to the Procrustean bed of the fantastic expectations. You do not approach?! Following! Excitement the ton, and all “malfunctions“ are written off for “discrepancy of candidates“, them is alas - imperfection. “The real men - the real women - or Women were transferred from Capital Letter!“ - and in concerning started over again, in starting fittings of ideal models of care and love.

And of course, any failure is written off on “As you disappointed me!!! And I - that thought that I at last found!“ And so in it the reality of the relations - a meeting with Another is well avoided as he / she is, and attempts to be coordinated, be synchronized on reality, having put aside “ideals“ and “dreams“.

It is one of the most successful escapes with boredom and emptiness of existence. “I am so in love!!!“ “I am so cruelly deceived - disappointed - is devoted!“ Fine swing. To lull itself in series of bright sufferings and impressions.

Only in such way of life to grow old very terribly. Very much. As with age forces on all this really decrease, and there is no happiness all … Though here it is possible to begin young partners and partners to choose to himself. Young people in such unions realize the edipalny passions “to marry mother“ or “to have to themselves personal, only the father“.

And mature and still looking for the ideal partner Vzroslye - though what they actually adult, it is an open question - “adopt“ or “adopt“ to themselves a youth source. Well are also invigorated there, “botoksitsya“ or still as are tightened - “silikonitsya“, the falseness and “tinsel“ trying to deceive the fact that it is impossible to deceive - Life Time. Sadly …