Rus Articles Journal

Internal “hero“ - as he helps to cope with alarms in life?

Very often now it is possible to meet the girls living “Prinze`s expectation“. What here now, in “simple life“ (read in life without Prinze) all happening to me is “draft copy“ of the real happiness and the real Life. And here I will meet “him“, and then I will heal!

But you can imagine someone quite real who will be able to accept and hold / maintain freight here of such “transcendental“ expectations? Who is really ready to take the responsibility for happiness, and the most important - for safety and release from alarms of life in the adult relations? Here and with the child will be responsibility a bit too much, and with developed whims of character of the adult and even less so …

But the truth there is a lot of, it is a lot of quite adult and quite successful and independent women in life look for in “the only elects“ of Princes - Defenders and Knights - Rescuers. Yes, these women build fine pits and, often they earn a lot of money and, they self-actualize in many spiritual areas of life. But in them the little Cinderella sits and cries. Offended and betrayed by the father. The father, which owing to the vital history “was present absence“ in their childhood. (It when the body it seems on a sofa lies, rustles with the newspaper, on the panel from TV presses the buttons or in the computer according to Klava knocks - and there is no access to a body and to the Father “by definition“.) Or which absolutely in personal history was not. Since mother was disappointed in it or he left a family.

Also they have no experience at - I am Tia of their alarms and fears, quite for the child normal, but in a rupture of communication with Big and Protecting - hardly transferable. With someone real. Warm. Human. And there is an experience of own survival in the different ways. For example, early growing. You still absolutely small, you need a ring of kind hands, a reliable side in which it is possible to bury and sob out the let and silly, but terrible for you experience now, and you are already “elder sister“. And itself you lend a shoulder to youngest. And mother too when at her suddenly the despair rolls.

When there is a real Big Daddy, more than less attentive to children`s fears and alarms, gradually at each girl the internal Defender is formed. The image built in really lived experience both protection and consolations, and sometimes ignorings and rejections. The final of Europe on soccer, and you - small, precisely know that “the father is busy!“. But if you can be busy for the father when to you Vovka from the next entrance came, and you together play the railroad, and the father in this game too bulky and now obviously superfluous, then gradually at you internal permission is formed. Internal readiness to wait when the World of the Big Daddy is occupied with something or someone Another too. And then you can too care for itself - and without despair forcedly of adult part. Which to cry now - and it, scared, supports mother in her tears. When you precisely know that the father is ready to support you at a difficult moment. That when it will be strongly necessary - it will come. Here soccer will look through - and will come to console you … in

I how it does it, you put gradually the internal images and models of a self-consolation. You take this piece from the real Father. Really sometimes kind. Really sometimes sensitive to you. Accepting and banishing your fears and alarms. And this already your piece helps to wait the minutes alarms. When the real father is busy. And in adulthood you can release the man - without here such requirement frenzied often to be to you always and in everything “a support and nadezhy“ … You to yourself can be - steadily and with pleasure - this here a support.

When in reality the Big Daddy more menacing or absolutely indifferent, or still what “warped“, internal image of the Defender begins to be formed under the influence of fantastic folklore. Ideal such. Which forever Kind. Forever with you. Forever accepting and always ready to console. And search goes it.

And the Living Man will always break ideal expectations. It “will always fall short“. How many now in the society of talk that supposedly “the Presents were translated“. Both Women, and man.

Well, just the Presents - read live, changeable, different during the different periods and situations of life - loads and loads. And ideal both never was, and is not present … All this “folklore“ and fairy tales usually on the most interesting come to an end - “and they began to live - to live yes dobra to acquire“. And here about quite natural such “difficulties - sorrows - disappointments to acquire“ in the fairy tale are silent usually. And in the ladies` novel, and in series too … Well the soul has to have a rest somewhere. To have a rest from reality. To finish in “resort conditions“. Yes - here two weeks in the resort. Both the sun shines, and the sea rustles, and the grass turns green. And if to compare it to weather of all year? With ice - turmoil of winds - gray clouds - long absence of the Sun? Or with the heat utter and the Sun - the executioner from whom and the shadow badly saves?

So can, to reality - that is closer, and? Even if the real Big Daddy was in the childhood of little use for creation to himself the reliable Internal Rescuer, it can be constructed - to reconstruct during any period of life. Precisely I know. And to cease to exhaust already relatives “a prokrustovy bed“ of the expectations, ideal to them. To smother itself black offenses. To console already the internal Cinderella in the fact that besides Princes there is same Vovka from the next entrance. Which live. And which every time so ridiculously and touchingly is confused when you in the yard meet it … Interestingly, from what it, and?