In what main delusion of love?
we think Of love and dislike every day everything, young and old. At everyone the understanding of this great gift, but sometimes they differ among themselves as a heat and cold. And sometimes we are ready to protect the opinion on love to the death in physical sense.
In - the first, it is numerous variations as “I love-I am not loved“ or “I am loved-I do not love“. Probably, them most of all - from - for natural aggression and acquired envy, greed, sensitivity, the postponed psychoinjuries. You do not trust - look at the range of shelves of any average bookstore. Law it or will of a case? I think that neither that, nor another. Just what person of a curve - and the love his time is similar to a reproduction of a lonely Japanese pine. Or, as the French proverb speaks: “Each rubbish let looks for the rubbish“. Though I have more under soul the answer: “If you doubt - means, you do not love“ … Ask it any normal parent. If that - a number of army of books, at your service - there is no consultation of psychologists and psychotherapists (there are also free - in state institutions), drugstores headed by Her Majesty the Network …
Though in it, I think, nothing of that kind scary reprehensible if the person allows another to love himself as addition - owing to the fact that he it does not have some peculiar loving qualities, knowledge, abilities or even material objects. Rich and unbalanced and poor with harmonious character. The educated professional and the skillful hostess with the TV instead of an iconostasis. “We use each other to fill blank spaces“, - Grebenshchikov sang thirty years ago. Sometimes such unions are even quite strong and long-term. I know not one such.
In - the second - the thesis about that, the love is always mutual. As at Saints to God. But it happens seldom even in Malakhov`s transfers. In difference, from an angel who though is undividedly kind or evil and carries out unconditionally will of the mister it differs from the computer program a little. The person - a being more many-sided. At it is: a body and soul, a floor, and, above all - a free will. Time sharpens metal, a stone, and it is a duck soup to change the person to it. And thank you that it is still so indulgent to us: now marriage in Russia exists on average 7 years, and love - I do not think that longer. Baggage of last relations, garbage of prejudices, fetters of rules - a difficult burden. Even what to darling always pulls - very energy-intensive this force of an attraction is not weaker than gravitation. Therefore - that love and obstacles honor any can overcome. And the word is seldom real loving use - all the same what to sit at the river and to trade in water.
Is also such who considers that they need to become “better“ that someone fell in love with them. And some learn that in love there cannot be a patience or reasonings on what is pleasant or it is not pleasant to you in the person. But any person usually wants that fell in love with him. I know many people who grew up in rejection and neglect and to reproach them with inadequate behavior - a big mistake. And what such bad in self-improvement? Only the fact that the person wants that fell in love with him, but not he. And to begin - that from itself even in it is necessary.
By the way, the strongest and amicable couples which I saw one interesting quality - quite frequent grumble without rage and criticism without aggression distinguished. Just the person - a being rhythmic. In a body it is breath, heartbeat, a food cycle, sexual rhythms (the same monthly). Out of a body it is natural, as on a sinusoid, differences of mood, activity, working capacity. They do not coincide at people initially. However it is proved that at long joint life there is their mutual “synchronization“, accustoming. But until it occurred - it is not necessary to wait 7 or how many - that for years there. The understanding is both supervision, and a chuvstvovaniye, and questions, and knowledge of when favourite it is better not to disturb once again. Also it is possible to begin at once.
Everyone (sick, poor, semiliterate...) the person is capable to love. If you still did not find it, then the main obstacle - the inattentive attitude towards yourself. It can be changed, for that we and people. Then it will be possible to hear and make what heart goes on about. It will also be a way fortunately.