Why it is better to ask questions, than to give advice?
“Council are what we ask when we know already the answer, but it is not pleasant to us“ (E. Dzhong). If to ask a question for what people address the psychologist, then most likely the answer will be received: to get advice how to work in a difficult situation. The answer is typical, however quite misleading. Moreover, the ethical code of the psychologist forbids to give advice.
this point was included In the code not casually, to that there are several reasons.
In - the first , council is a ready package of experience which can approach or not approach a concrete situation of the client. Especially, if it is required that council sounded immediately, right after a problem essence summary. Most visually it is shown in online - consultation.
For example, the client asks: “How to me to teach the child to stand for itself? “ Further in such consultation the stream of quite natural questions of the psychologist which are clearing up a situation follows. About age of the child, about what actions are waited by the parent from the child; whether the opinion of the parent and child concerning the fact that in a concrete situation it is necessary to stand up for itself somehow coincides; and even how, actually, the fact that the child cannot stand for himself looks.
It is a question not idle because the same nomination can bear in itself absolutely different meanings. For one parent the child who is not able to stand for himself that which cries and runs to complain to mother when more resolutely adjusted peanut takes away a toy from him. For another - the one who only insufficiently quickly beats in response to blow. Without fair idea of the events it is impossible to give how many - nibud effective recommendations. Ideally, the client, answering the questions raised by the consultant itself finds that solution which is necessary for it.
In - the second , clients often ask for suggestions, assuming that the psychologist - the consultant owns the same volume of information, as they, or even big. Perhaps, reading out this information by means of some psychological features at first sight. The psychologist can be the keen observer, but, alas, does not possess x-ray sight therefore can gain an impression about the events with the client, mainly asking questions.
In - the third , the sovetovaniye assumes obligatory fine tuning to the client from above. The person, the senior on age, more skilled, knowing, competent can advise. If the psychologist in any parameters does not approach under the portrait of the possible adviser which is available for the client, then council will not be accepted. It can cause reaction from bewilderment to indignation depending on a situation and character of the client. In case of discrepancy of vision of the client and the psychologist, the council which was inappropriate will become a basis of formation of disappointment in psychologists in general. Dialogue “question-answer“ assumes an equal share in the solution of an objective, the client and the consultant unite for development of the decision in favor of the client.
According to N. O. Lossky, questions are not judgments but only rudiments of judgments. This view of an essence of a question is represented convincing. Therefore, how to develop these rudiments and whether to develop - the client will solve. To impose the opinion, giving advice, any consultant has no right.