And whether you are ready to change?! or “Koping“ - ability to sovladevat!
, I, with your permission, will begin with a parable:
“Zeus and Hera sat in heaven, surveying a difficult situation of mankind. Hera was very touched by the poor person inclined under weight of the problems, his hunger and sufferings of his family which had no time for laughter for a long time.
- My master, - she addressed Zeus, - be merciful. Send the help to this person. Look, it is so poor that his sandals are laced up by seaweed.
- My love, - Zeus answered, - I would be glad to help it, but it is not ready yet.
- A shame on you, - Hera angrily answered. - For you there is nothing more simply, than to throw before it on the earth a bag with gold that all its problems left it forever.
- And, well it quite another matter, - the creator of the Universe answered.
The bright lightning and a peal of a thunder pierced clear skies. It seemed, the world stood for a moment, but then birds began to chirp the songs again, and cicadas began to scrape even more loudly.
The bag full of magnificent gold lay on the road before the poor person who accurately raised a leg and crossed through it not to damage the sandals. Also went further …“
B of this, the, article to me would like to talk about whether we are ready to achieve and achieve the objectives?, namely about “koping“, as about readiness these purposes to reach. It will be a question of technology of achievement this most “readiness to become and be …“ But for a start about what is “koping“ in psychology:
the Concept “koping“ includes reaction not only to “the excessive or exceeding resources of the person of the requirement“, but also to everyday stressful situations is what is done by the person to cope with a stress (uniting cognitive, emotional and behavioural strategy which are used to cope with inquiries of ordinary life.) Thoughts, feelings and actions form a koping - strategy which are used in various degree in certain circumstances. Thus, the koping is the behavioural and cognitive efforts applied by people to cope with relationship of the person with Wednesday.
generally, seemingly, is what allows us to achieve the objectives or not to reach them! I will remind that there are two types of behavior - a koping - behavior and psychological protection. The first way assumes statement and achievement of the objectives, for example “to become and be rich“. The second assumes finding of a way to live as lived, pretending that there is no wealth though, but it also is not necessary, for example “we not rich, but honest“. Psychological protection is a way to live with a problem, without going from it crazy.
I Think that to whom the subject a koping - behavior is interesting to those and psikhzashchit, without effort will find additional information in a network. at the same time I will emphasize
that is necessary for, actually, “readiness“ of the person to receive the desirable. Reactions of the person to a stressful situation - it is unconscious. According to Benjamin Libet`s researches, everything that we perceive from world around, really happens not in the present any more, our consciousness realizes perceived only through half a second after it already came true. Consciousness we later, through fractions of a second, will explain to ourselves, “as why“. Therefore the person provided that he already knows that it is necessary to it and that he really wants (very seldom!) - wants only in consciousness so far! And unconsciously - it is not ready! For example, what often in my practice, considers what does not deserve such purposes. It is rough that it - nobody, nothing and is from anywhere. Here, did not do without “history of Russia“. But I not about that why, and about “as“!
is Enough researchers who are engaged in a perspective a koping recently - strategy, at a view of a koping began to adhere to so-called resource approach. Resource approach places emphasis on the fact that there is a process of “distribution of resources“ (commerce of resources) which explains the fact that some people manage to keep health and to adapt despite various vital circumstances [Frydenberg, Lewis, 2002].
When modeling successful people, i.e. those who achieved the objectives, was revealed 7 main “composed“ leading to the purpose is a zhelannost, stoyashchest, approachibility, ecology in the course of achievement, ecology after achievement, compliance of our abilities and a zasluzhennost. If one composed at least is not enough, Unconscious will not begin to reconstruct ours internal and external realities for achievement of your purpose. Also will correctly make. Why to achieve the objectives if it actually is not desired? That you reached it and were depressed? Or if it is unattainable? That you spent time and resources and as a result were disappointed? And what if the purpose is not eco-friendly in the course of achievement and you should overstrain an organism, burning nervous cages? So will not go. To you for the good Unconscious will block to you this purpose, and, I will repeat, will correctly make. Once again I will note important nuance - this composed have to be accepted by Unconscious, but not your consciousness.
the Question of “readiness“ for changes occupies one of key positions in my strategy of work with clients. At Institute Innovative Psikhotekhnology, under the leadership of professor Kovalyov S. In which employee I am it was developed, checked in practice and not one year is taught equipment of “readiness“ for changes. It becomes after the client approved the request for work with the therapist. Yes, quite so. At first the purpose, a certain therapeutic contract for changes is defined (capacious and laborious work!). From what leaves and where (the most important!) the client as a result of work with the professional, but not the “eternal“ analysis of problems and its “instillation“, the client, has to come to problems with their possible activation.
equipment is quite dramatized, at it there are elements of “Gestalt“, “arrangements“, the NLP and other schools and the directions of psychotherapy and borrows (me) from 40 minutes to an hour. As a result, and it is usually the 3rd session, a question of subjective result of therapy (on how many promoted to the decision) has the answer that percent on 20 - 50! Further, therapy goes “like clockwork“. Well, if not to take into account that happens the client “bears“. He is already happy with itself(himself), can be late (though came in 20 min.) also it is necessary to explain that “operation“ is not finished and it is required “to sew up“! “I sew up“, building in the client “his new reality“ other technicians, but about them in other article!
Is interesting? And whether you have objectives which are not achieved yet though you want it? Then I will suggest you to estimate your level of “readiness“, at will, of course: to
to understand how it your Unconscious belongs to the purpose, take a sheet of paper, write out the purpose and draw a horizontal scale from 1 to 5 slightly below.
| - - - - - - - - - - | - - - - - - - - - - | - - - - - - - - - - | - - - - - - - - - |
1...... …. 2.... … … 3....... … 4...... … 5
Take a pencil or the handle, put a hand so that the elbow rested against a firm surface and the hand freely “went“ over a scale. Detain a pencil or the handle in air over figure 3 then having raised eyes at an angle of 15 - 20 degrees, read the formulation to the purpose and add consistently following prefixes:
A. This purpose is desired.
B. This purpose is worth it that to reach it.
B. This purpose is achievable.
. The fact that I should do and make to achieve these objectives will be normal and natural.
D. How I will live when I achieve these objectives, will be normal, natural and just easy and it is pleasant.
E. I have all necessary abilities to achieve these objectives.
Zh. I deserve achievement of this purpose.
Write out the received balls, something will turn out it seems: And - 4. 1, B - 3. 9, … ….
If you have all values above of four - congratulate! You have already high koping, your Unconscious accepts the purpose and considers it as the benefit. In other words, it already began to build yours internal and external realities as appropriate that is a basis for fast and comfortable achievement of your purpose.
If balls lower, then - anything terrible. Simply, it means what Unconscious does not share your enthusiasm (that happens for various reasons) and we should adduce to it the arguments, having considered which, it will quite perhaps change the point of view.
I Thank for attention and I hope that this subject is interesting to you as to the expert or the potential client.
of Are you ready?! …. Good luck!
Yours faithfully, Safronov Alexander.
the Specialist of the Center of Practical Psychotherapy
At Institute Innovative Psikhotekhnology.