Rus Articles Journal

How it is simple and polite to tell “no“?

If are difficult to refuse to you to someone, so you try to be always good for others. You are not lonely. Many people are afraid how it seems to them, to hurt feelings of other person. They give a lot of time and energy to strangers, refusing attention to and to the relatives.

do not manage to make something important, necessary of false call of duty. I admit, I too among such people. Therefore decided to conduct small research.

Why is hard to say “no“

Here the most frequent reasons:

1. We sincerely want to help. Not in our rules to turn away from problems of friends and colleagues even if this help occupies the mass of our time.

2. We are afraid to seem rough and impolite. Especially often it works if about service the elderly person asks.

3. We want to be always pleasant to the environment. We are afraid to refuse to thoughtless idlers. If only we were accepted by a party.

4. Sometimes we are afraid of the conflict. It seems to us that our refusal can anger asking or insisting on our service.

5. We are afraid that if we refuse attention to problems of the interlocutor now, then in the future our career will appear under the threat.

6. Some people perceive “no“ as a rupture of the relations. Not to burn bridges, we satisfy requests to the detriment of ourselves.

Reflecting, I came to a conclusion that we decided all these reasons. First of all, we have to remember that we have requirements and priorities too. To refuse to itself - means, not to respect itself, the time and the relatives.

Eventually, it is important not that we speak “no“, and that, as we it tell. Several easy ways to tell


If you are busy with an important issue at present, and to you request (purchase of any goods, participation in an action or charity, joint carrying out time etc.) on which life and health of other people does not depend, then it is possible to answer politely approximately with such phrases:

1. I cannot pay attention at present to your request as I have important issues now. I cannot interrupt them.

2. Now I am in a condition of activity, important for me. To finish work in time - it is very significant for me. I can respond to your question in other time. At the same time specify time when you deystvitelnosmozht to be connected to process of partnership in the colleague`s problem. The normal person will understand and will not take offense.

3. I would like to help (to participate, come, to make etc.) but at present circumstances do not allow. It is one more soft way to tell “no“.

4. I will think than and as I will be able to help, and I will tell you. It means: “For the present not“.

5. If to you something is imposed, then it is possible to refuse so: “It does not correspond to my requirements at present. But in the future I will mean your offer“.

6. I am not that person who will be able to help you. You should address Mr. Ickx.

7. The simplest and most direct refusal: “No, I cannot“.

Having begun to speak “no“, you will feel better. It will facilitate your life.

I already practice to speak “no“ when I am very busy and my work is important for me. Surprisingly, it is easy. People perceive my polite refusals with understanding. I had more personal time. I do not feel guilty, speaking to people “no“.

Probably, there are best and more pleasant receptions to refuse to people. And how you speak “no“?