LOVE - GIFT, OR PUNISHMENT?
Recently, I began a thicket to pay attention to all stories about young people and girls who suffer from one-way love. Write about it on the Internet, in magazines, show on the TV and what far to go, friends complain. Keep to the point. Recently, we with the girlfriend sat in a cafe and as it and is necessary to girls, shared the friend with a druzhka the latest news. Here only these news, almost everything appeared from the same area - from area of the relations with her man. She greedily told about how to it it is bad how she is oppressed by these relations and even said that it would be better one and when did not meet the blessed. At the same time she swore and swore that madly loves it and is even afraid to present what with it will be if it disappears from her life. Strange … That it was more clear than
that here strange, I will tell you their not simple story.
Irina meet Nikita not one year. And from outside look very much even happy couple. But listening to Ira, such impression is made that it is not in the relations with it, and at Nikita in slavery … Irina takes offense at it at the slightest pretext: for the fact that he did not call it when promised, he talks to it roughly, did not pay attention to its new hairdress. In common they spend not much time and it naturally too upsets her. Ladies of different age have Nikita the young man, nedurstvenny appearance, best-selling, and from - for it Irina, just cannot find any peace is burned with jealousy. It instead of paying more attention to darling and as that to calm her, at the sight of the young lady something is lovely smiled to it, or it, having asked, at once “straightens a tail“ and behaves as “a peacock during the marriage period“. Besides, it is possible not without the bases, she assumes that Nikita has one more girl. Such suspicion literally does not allow to sleep it at night. And all the time so far they go about everyone the own business, every minute, she scrolls all their quarrels, half-words in the head, remembers all those moments when he behaved in relation to it softly to tell not really adequately. And here when comes to a conclusion that it would be time to stop on it their relations, begin to recur memories of those long-awaited meetings, of how it forgot about everything on light when it was near, how to them fine together as it reaches for it to the memory. Ira feels all fibers of soul that it is necessary to him not less, than he to it, but here joins logic. … When she tries to explain logically to herself what the hell occurs between them then all its ideas of how everything has to look, right there fall, and she comes to a conclusion that she in general what does not understand and about it often uses expression “the girl who fell from the fifth floor of the two-storeyed house does not believe in logic“. But all experiences quickly thaw, as on command of a magic wand when time of their meetings comes! Then Irina turns into the great princess, her eyes shine, in heart there comes the spring, birdies, well and all that has to happen to the girl at a meeting with darling sing!!! Once he leaves, again there comes the winter, blizzards come back, and at heart cats begin to scrape. And all on a new circle: troubles, offenses, expectation of a new meeting. On a question: why it does not leave him, time does not suit it in the relations practically everything? - she answers “- because I madly love it“.
In my opinion to opinion, here a problem even not in that as well as what is done by Nikita, and in how Ira treats Nikita`s acts. To be pleasant to me their couple, and think, they love each other, but if everything is continued in the same spirit, then the end of their relations already not far off. It will be a pity if it happens, what there was, in heart of each of them there lives the love!
Love, love, love … And what is it? What includes this concept? What it is possible to give to this feeling definition and what it has to be? Here give together over it and we will think! Here, in the general - that, there can be a heap of options: for someone, it is euphoria, for someone at last the found sense in life, someone considers it as punishment, or even a heavy cross! Someone, perhaps, will tell that she is different. For example, maternal, love to art, to, to all fine, etc. between the man and the woman, at last! To what we felt love, it will bring us either joy, or feelings not really pleasant, or it is possible even painful. Of course, if the love brings us happiness, joy and so forth, then it, certainly, positively, but if it hurts - that love, as well as any illness it is necessary to treat urgently! To treat not love more precisely, and ours to it the relation.
Under impression of love put legends, write verses, odes, poems and stories, make feats and simply - naprosto from it lose the head! It will be logical to tell that this pretty strong feeling and very few people will begin to argue with it! And if it is not correct to accept this feeling, not correctly treats it, then this power it is possible to do much harm not only itself, but also the people surrounding you: to both family, and friends and just familiar. THAN? - you ask how someone when you sit can do much harm and quietly you suffer?! And how you think whether when you from - for the fact that it is admissible to you your subject of lamentation does not reciprocate to you is strongly good, you begin to answer people around roughly? From sad thoughts productivity of your work, and it besides besides you, more precisely than your financial state which from it definitely does not improve decreases, harms your chief! When you long, all of you it is less and begin to communicate with friends less that too does not add to them happiness!!! And it the most widespread and the harmless following consequences from our negative perception - this fine gift under the name love.
The love is not a burden and not punishment, this proof that you the living person! It is better to love, than whether to be indifferent … so? And how to rejoice when the one whom you love not with you? When that, “in whom your soul“ offends you, or behaves not adequately in relation to you? Such circumstances when occur chronically, unsettle people, drive to despair and to a depression. It is possible even to tell that such reality squeezes out of us forces which would help us to fight against it. And how to fight against it? The most widespread council, it to be distracted by something another, to switch the thoughts with the help, for example works. It of course helps … for any long time! It is possible to read books, to be engaged in learning of foreign language, to begin to paint pictures and options there can be an infinite set. Them can be so much how many our imagination allows them!!! And all this is correct, good and healthy, but … one important detail is not enough! Without it all our attempts will be vain to distract. I will dare to depart for a while from the stated thought and to ask a question: and unless it is worth distracting and the more so to struggle with love? Even if our love is unfortunate, the answer is unambiguous - no!!! It is worth fighting, but not with feeling, and with her negative, sick perception. It does not allow us to feel love fully, steals its sweet and washes away its bright paints, mixing and painting dirty, ugly color!!! Now, perhaps, we will return to earlier mentioned, missing detail, and to a way of fight against the sad reality created in our head! Actually it not so that and is difficult how can initially seem. Let`s begin with the fact that reaction to all events, goes from our head. Maybe from ours how to be told hearts, not important! Important the fact that reaction goes from OURS, and from a brain, or soul, does not matter. Reaction first of all depends on our perception. And so, time reaction “lives“ in our head, it depends on our perception of a situation, time this OURS turns out, so we can operate it and dispose as it is necessary for us. Not as got used either as it is accepted or as from us it is expected and as we want, and we want that to us it was good. I will give an example. Your darling, made an act which is not pleasant to you. Let`s pay attention that any person always acts this way (well, at least, tries to arrive so) as a result to receive the benefit. No who, waking up, thinks of that to it such odious to make that everything it was bad! But there is a fact, you were treated not well. That as it arrived, it of course can and badly and treads on your corns, vanity and causes offense. (In general, on any action, on any emotion energy is necessary.) Now you have a choice how to react to an act. I ask to pay attention, the act which is already MADE! Of course, it is possible to take and take offense. And for offenses we are upset, we cry, we are indignant. It for us is bad. And it is possible to think, that an act, time is made, it already in the past. With the past no what can be done already, alas. Therefore, your offender, will not be able in the same situation any more (in passed) a feather to arrive as that on another, we have no time machine!!! And at least it it is not reasonable to influence time a situation which already in the past you as you cannot, you should not spend the most precious energy, for offense. Just it is more reasonable to tell “the favourite offender“ that his act is not pleasant to you, and the saved energy can be spent for more pleasant occupations with the same darling. And this is undoubtedly good! P. S. if to you it is direct so strongly there is a wish that darling was punished for the fact that he arrived badly, he can make of course “and - that is that“ from now on to avoid repetition not of a desirable situation, but also to take offense - that all heart and soul for this purpose, there is definitely no what need!!! Isn`t it?
… in general I consider that if you were visited by love, then from it just it is necessary to derive pleasure and not to feel happy, as if there were no relations with object of your desires! One my friend asked me whether I love somebody. Having received an affirmative answer, he told me that time it does not weigh me then it is not love, and so, overindulgence! It struck me up to the depth of soul and even revolted! How so? It turns out, time to me it is good that in my heart there lives a person from whom at only one thoughts “butterflies in a stomach“ appear, for the sake of which there is a wish to become better and better day by day which embraces, give wings and near which, you feel like the happiest and impregnable person on the earth. Unless it is not healthy? Unless it is bad to test it? Unless to love - it means to turn someone into an idol and day and night to worship him and when your god goes on the affairs it is necessary to begin to long for it urgently? Personally it seems to me nonsense. The love is when even the feeling gives pleasure. It is necessary to love not only the person, but also feeling which you have. And in my opinion the most important rule which should be remembered is that neither who nor what should not you as well as you. When you take it into account, it becomes easier to live at once and many problems resolve in air, without having managed to be created!
Finally I want to tell that what would not be your relations, the love and its quality will depend only on us. We make it happy, or on the contrary unfortunate. Everything depends on our correct perception, and correct, it, of course, that which us does better and happier.