Criticism - creation or destruction?
... There lived a person and was necessary to nobody, did not make yet something like that that can see, listen, read, comment and to be criticized. Really, why not to state the point of view at each opportunity? From outside is more visible that not so.
Who likes to water everything with a rain of fair or unfair criticism around, will not read this article and if reads, will not draw any conclusions because he does not understand that usual words beat stronger than a cudgel. Especially - when they are stated publicly.
The criticism creates if to speak about soft, positive and logical criticism. Without it it is difficult to grow and change for the better. Such criticism helps to look at itself from a different angle and to receive an adequate assessment to the actions. When someone imparts personal experience, tells about the wrong steps, warning and focusing, carefully points out the defects why and not to accept this point of view with gratitude. It is unlikely it is capable to offend.
But not any point of view is useful. One words will serve as incentive and will lead to new achievements, others - on the contrary as if a footboard, will stop and will confuse. Because not all people are capable to speak, without imposing the position as only correct and without treading on self-respect of other person.
Act rashly “plain truth“. It is important that to the place and that in a subject. Also does not concern how their words will be apprehended and what they will lead to. Such criticism destroys.
There is an opinion, we have to be grateful to those who point to us to our mistakes.
But, the people ready directly and openly to listen about itself to someone`s personal opinion, it is not enough. Foreign point of view means correction, and not all and are not always ready to it. And we do not believe often in sincerity of the person who tries to correct us. Personally to it it, what for? For the sake of what good purposes?
Even listening to other point of view, we seldom change something in ourselves. Often the person continues to live and think how before. Not because it is so simpler, just each of us for himself already solved as as has to be and if it is considered with opinion, then only those people who are rather dear to it.
Life experience prompts that public discussion is usually reduced to one conclusion: “Well and the fool you if you do not understand how it is not necessary to do“. To whom is it pleasant? The person is irritated, and either aggression, or sense of guilt in reply joins. The lethal criticism is capable to develop an inferiority complex in the indecisive person and to become a cause of failure from that activity which all so furiously criticize. As a result at offended self-defense joins and “locks“ personal space are closed from unauthorized invasion.
If you have the point of view that something is made incorrectly, leave it at yourself until until you are asked it to state.
And if you so cannot wait to be uttered, think before to speak, as if far you sent the one who would dare to cling to you.
To fight against furiously criticizing it is useless. No truth in such dispute is born, it is waste of time and nerves, as a result unless bulletproof walls will grow.
Psychologists say that it is possible to learn to accept both positive, and negative criticism, not at once, over time. Also advise those who are criticized, first of all to keep calm and not to hurry to hit back. In such situations time - the best medicine.