How to avoid a children`s hysterics?
the Child in four years started going to a garden. There it is difficult for it to cope with the feelings in the most different occasions: mother left - began to complain - broke in a hysterics; someone took away a toy - began to complain - broke in a hysterics. So occurs several times in day.
Such situations stay at home too, but is more rare, houses somehow it is possible to extinguish them. In a garden - it is accident: the tutor calls and asks to come and calm the child. How to help the child to learn to cope with the feelings, big already. Question to the psychologist.
It is better to begin with a campaign to the doctor. It will help to be convinced that the child is healthy and he has no neurologic reasons so to behave.
Pay closer attention to the child. You say that at home it is easier for it to cope with the feelings. Thanks to what he manages it: mother nearby, the habitual situation, adults behave definitely … what? What is told and done by the adults who were near in especially effective when the hysterics is prevented, situations? To what intonation, what words and gestures the child reacts optimum? And still? What else at home helps the child to remain quiet?
Make the list of such conditions. For example, when the child begins to sulk, I approach him from a back, I embrace for shoulders and tender whisper I speak: “Tsh - sh - sh, let`s look what here can be made as a goryushka to help yours“. The child calms down, and it is already possible to carry on constructive dialogue with him.
Or when the child begins to be capricious, complain, I tell the “magic“ phrase:
More quietly, Tanechka, do not cry,
will not drown in the small river a ball!
the Child answers that he is not Tanechka, and his attention switches, he calms down.
From such records the whole instruction on the treatment of the specific child can turn out. Let all ways of the termination (prevention) of a hysterics which had effect even once be originally included. Then it will be possible to choose the most effective and to use them. It is important to remember that it makes sense to begin to work at once as soon as there is an unacceptable, “complaining“ behavior of the child. It is much simpler to prevent or stop scandal at the beginning of a way than when it in the heat - the child goes racing, the adult boils from indignation!
The child grows and gradually learns to apply the code phrases helping to calm down independently.
For elimination of a hysterics it is important to understand that is its cornerstone. If the child is tired, hungry or was unwell, not the place and not time to pedagogical experiments: it is necessary to meet as soon as possible the needs of the child, avoiding any, as much as small provocations.
If the child falls into a hysterics with despair: he tries to satisfy any requirement, but does not know how to make it in the acceptable way, will come across the pedagogical resolution of the adult considering that the child has to find this way. In this situation support and hints where he, this way is necessary for the child. For example, the first grader struggles with a task: one decision is incorrect, another, the third … The child refuses the fourth with shouts and dropping textbooks from a table.
If the child a hysterics requires attention from the adult, it is important to show to the kid how to choose time and the place for communication, it is impossible to introduce rules within which at some point the mother / father can be touched and in another. Children easily and quickly acquire short and capacious rules, effectively learn to operate with them. Rules considerably simplify the child`s life, do it stable and predictable, it adds tranquility to all participants of a situation capable to flow in a hysterics.
There is a number of conditions when it is better not to try to deal with hysterics independently, and to look for the help at experts :
1. The child during a hysterics causes physical damage to and/or to people around.
2. Hysterics occur often (five and more times a day).
3. The hysterics can occur anywhere, the child does not pay attention to conditions in which is, they are not important for it as a limiting factor at all.
4. When a hysterics - only small part of the available problems in behavior of the child.
5. When in a family there are also other family members inclined to achievement of the purposes through a hysterics.