How to spoil life to ourselves and people around or 10 critical mistakes which we make in the relations.
of the Harmonious relations become less. That ease with which we acquire friends, seeming. The number of friends on social networks does not speak about anything. They are added by one click of a mouse, and also easily it is possible to leave them. Such ease sometimes is broadcast also in the real relations with people.
In this article I will try to analyse mistakes which we make in the relations with close people. This my subjective opinion, and it does not apply for being true. Truth somewhere nearby. Mistakes can be very critical, at best they will lead to cooling of the relations, in the worst - to a gap.
Expectation from the relations.Something to expect
from the relations, to mentally force them, but not to enjoy a present situation. At this time the relations develop in the way - not worse and not better, and differently. Slip some calls which if in time to notice them, can rescue the relations. We notice only discrepancy of the real relations of subjects ideal which constructed in the imaginations.
not to live here and now.
to be in the past, continuing mental dialogue. And to be in the future, dreaming. And present? It and remains not lived, not experienced. To dream, to make plans, to think over to trifles as as it will develop. Not to enjoy what occurs now.
U me the set of moods can be
of the Mask - personal and others`, but I try to be HONEST in the presence of OTHERS. The mistake is that very often we communicate not with the person, and with the idea of the person, with somehow which to themselves was drawn. Our representation is based on the first impression and the experience. Is strange, but not to be what wants people to seem. Forces and energy for it it is spent much more. The person can change, sometimes very strongly, but as we drew him, it he also remains for us. Own perception is very inert. And, of course, most to put on a mask, honest - what can be simpler and more natural? not to establish to
the Regular guy - it, of course, is quite good. But everyone has the corner of an inner world - reminiscence, experience, thought, dream. Not always there is a wish to divide it even with the relatives. I consider that everyone has to have a place where it is possible to retire - both physical existing on the card, and internal. Certain corner of soul. If initially borders were not established - non-failure operation and a priority of public interests before personal are accepted, then then it is very heavy, and at times and it is impossible to change it. It is difficult to convince why earlier you agreed to do implicitly something, and now your affairs become a priority for you.
to put all the experience In the relations.
Not only positive which gives us strength and confidence, but also negative. The new relations are new relations, they have no relation to your old stories, the old relations. It is a clean sheet of paper. It is possible to enclose in them all past as the brightest not victories, but defeats sometimes are remembered. To what all this conducts, I think clear. The relations were not given chance since the birth any more. not to express to
the emotions and feelings.
Especially those which not really can be expressed in our society. It is much more pleasant to realize himself warm and fuzzy and very much - very kind, on the loyal and liberal. And absolutely new in the spirit of the times - to be very liberal and not so jealous. Even if very much - there is a strong wish to state the and it is worse to show discontent, rage or that - anger. So it is not accepted, especially to women. Therefore they also suffer … for the time being. And then …. Forced out does not disappear anywhere. It collects, and then escapes, taking the ugly forms - scandals and a showdown. And it is sometimes irreversible process. The cup which cracked will break sooner or later. Even if to stick together it.
to Use the relations, that being cried, complain, poobvinyat.
it is not important whom - people around, circumstance, sometimes even itself. For the fact that life develops not as there is a wish for it that you are an unrecognized genius and therefore it is simply obliged to suffer. And people around have to play a role of a vest or a lifebuoy in time to embrace and caress. Only in time - it practically becomes the same, as all the time.
In disputes to adhere only to the correctness,
to defend the correctness that is called with foam at a mouth. Without wishing to look at a problem as on a task which can be considered from the different parties. To speak only from You - positions.
is instant to react to criticism.
It is sharp, with charges. In spite of the fact that the criticism can be very important resource.
is rare to meet.to
Whenever possible to translate the real relations in virtual - communication on social networks, by phone.
Of course, it is possible to find not one ten more mistakes. And to be engaged only in the analysis of the unfortunate relations. But … already existing it is possible to correct and to look at the relations with a fresh pair of eyes, without putting all previous experience and enjoying a present situation. And to make thrifty use of them and it is sensitive.