Whether it is heavy to be the good wife? Who needs such victims?
How many it is written words, phrases, stories on a love triangle. I do not know whether they under themselves have real stories and feelings or these are echoes of imagination, literary style, own reflections on a subject “and as if it was if...“? I do not remember who told that life sometimes is more terrible than fiction... The word can be replaced on “more interestingly“ “more terribly“ or that that something like that.
Consider my article as the first experience of outpouring of the thoughts in an infinite enormous web which for certain will be able to digest any even hypertrophied emotions and feelings.
I know that an opportunity to tell or write (the internal speech will be sometimes more interesting) rescues from development of depressions and melancholy... Having read some things on this subject and especially comments here, there was a wish to answer much. Having thought understood that all the same my answers will be consolidated to reflection of my own, unique experience of participation in “triangle“. Notice, both as “wife“ and in less priglyadny for me quality of “mistress“, naturally triangles different, from that and it is interesting how the same person behaves in different, opposite roles! For this reason I with ease can oppose both on behalf of “wife“ and on behalf of “beloved“
So, everything is simple, a triangle number TIME! WIFE:
... HOW to change the life within the existing family? Why eyes and my ears believed why did not listen to the heart, only it is sharp-sighted in opinion With - A. Ekzyuperi....? After many years he will tell it was right! hundred times of the rights... And then there was a wish to believe that it is loved, valuable and demanded. To similar thoughts wrote off lack of confirmations for features of character of the husband.
Strenuously worked on the inner world, stuck on labor and household fronts, creating a cosiness, forming lovely traditions, sating life with a positive, and all to muffle feelings of disbelief and uncertainty. all the time how it is even better to make competition how to predugat desires... Scandals, no! what for? my world - my house - my fortress is a haven for each family member and first of all the husband and the child and it has to bear in itself(himself) only convenience, purity, a tastiness and tranquility - everyone is free to be oneself, live in the world and pleasure at home... Not only so planned - so lived... respecting rituals of the husband, his requirement, tradition. And the Worm inside, only bit into my self-assessment leaving behind burdensome thoughts “to nobody it is necessary, all the same will not estimate“. Over time understood that my warm heart, tender hands, lovely words only irritate and destabilize a situation... Do not trouble trouble - so far it is silent... Not to lower the self-assessment refusals, left everything on a payoff to the husband - let him choose a convenient format... He is a man...
Long auto-trainings and auto-suggestion for one or two years I received result: there are no tranquility and predictability, passion - there are no feelings, but there are also no aggressions and humiliations... Illusion of happiness! Of course execution of roles was given hard, it had failures when got drunk in usmert - years later understood as to it there was a reaction, heavy at me, was in the form of tears, explanations of sentries that so it is impossible to live that it is necessary to change our life of two quite decent people who appeared by will of destinies in a society vice under the name a family! What we a family if in it there is no main thing?! The most courageous decisions on divorce were passed for discussion by me! Only asked for help in decision-making so much important for a family, asked only one - the truths: to recognize that it is unloved, and therefore it is not necessary. It is heavy to live in a role: “ So do not get you to anybody“ well or “Itself not din and I will give another“, as used. Though, of course, in a family in a different way also does not happen, anyway we use each other... The family seems to me exchange office where we change feelings for money, services on councils, work on a praise or caress... Here and I changed the talents, feelings, aspirations, desires, abilities for tranquility and predictability on confidence in tomorrow. From it came the way of me, perhaps, only his ability to be an owner which I opened in it and an otmotivirovala (a praise sincere and pertinent), than inexpressibly lifted his self-assessment. He knew from my words that than it is better, nobody will be able to make such work and that it surprising put the house master that to it on a shoulder any homeworks. And can it found an opportunity to retire in homework... Anyway, both were the winner. and for the rest the exchange per se was also not...
And there is a wish that the exchange was equivalent and equivalent... then the feeling of happiness is possible.
On 15 ohms to year of life was given - reconciled - understood that my future here. What is predetermined to me to live such “Chekhovian marriage“ where there is a respect, a habit, approval of society! predictability and back. but there are no feelings. Awfully terribly and awkwardly... when two educated, intelligent persons, both with sense of humour, sociable with others...... and cannot talk with each other.... and except the child and belongings them unites nothing... there is a secret separating, but on that it and secret that to suppress her.
How many to a string not to curl... To all there is an explanation and to all there is an end. A question where and when he finds us. Whether we are ready to destroy old to make room for new? or all life to stay in illusions and to wait for an old age in satiety of neurosises and the distorted souls which lived not the life. As Kadysheva sings. “We while away nights long... Unloved with unloved“
About the same problem and lyrics of L. M. Gurchenko from the movie “The Station for Two“... I consider these words as the quote to the story about life...
We live something without passion,
Is monotonous, as in a system.
Be not afraid to throw everything on the
I card life to break the.
Let in the head the streaks of gray flash.
Not late to choose a new way.
Be not afraid to throw everything on the card of
I lived to cross out.
In a mirage and in a smoke, trust in chimeras.
Belongings could not be dragged.
Not to leave further death.
You seek to remake life.
It is not necessary to mourn at all,
When to you could not card be covered.
You be not afraid to throw life on a game, without having lost
- not to win!
Seek to remake life!
Be not afraid to break life!
Unfortunately courageous it is not enough of similar!! from that and... “ We while away nights long... Unloved with unloved“ but any more not I...