What is positive feedback and as it to give
Till six years at the child the living position speaking about what he perceives himself and world around is formed. In order that it created positive opinion on itself and on people, i.e. installation that it good and others good, he instead of criticism has to receive positive feedback.
What is positive feedback and what it differs from a usual praise in? The matter is that when we just praise the child and we speak “good fellow“ - it for it a little informatively does not motivate on other achievements. Positive feedback is the developed statement concerning any action and the subsequent result with positive emotional coloring.
For example, you noticed that today the child wanted to help to dust to you. If you want also from now on that helped you about the house, you should not take away from him a rag from hands and to speak: “Give here, do not disturb, I am better I will make …“ Not important that the rag dirty or badly wrung out and leaves stains. The main thing that it has a readiness to take part in house cleaning. Therefore his behavior surely should be noted:
- As it is great that decided to help me! It is remarkable idea! So it is pleasant to me!
And further it is already possible to suggest to teach to wring out a rag or to fulfill other skills.
Sometimes, of course, the child does something that to give positive feedback to his actions happens quite difficult. But it is possible. For example, from a table plates with food fly:
- As you quickly coped with a lunch! Such original decision came to your mind! And a floor never before was such picturesque!
For what it is necessary to give positive feedback? The matter is that also negative reaction of adults to action of the child, and positive - strengthen behavior. It means that if you abused the child for the broken cup, then next time he will break plates. It is better not to focus attention on undesirable behavior of the child at all. If it is not supported, then at the child interest in these actions will disappear. If all of you allow critical statements to the child, then 7 positive statements have to fall on two such remarks in a day!
In general, behind each action the child has a requirement. To understand what it is necessary for it for, it is necessary at it about it to ask and set, so-called, open questions which do not mean the answer “yes“ or “no“, for example:
- For what you do it? (Not “why“, there is a hidden charge here, and the reasons it is possible to find one thousand).
- What does it give you?
- Why it is so important for you?
- Whether Only thus you can receive it?
- How to make it in a different way?
For example, you go together with the daughter to department of toys, and she asks to buy her a doll. You can either buy, or refuse, and can investigate her requirements:
- For what to you this doll?
- It in a beautiful dress.
Aha. Now you know that the daughter liked a dress. You continue:
And how you think that it is necessary that on your doll there was such dress?
- To Sew.
- And what is necessary to sew a dress?
- Threads, needle, rag.
- Yes, it is right! The dress is sewed from fabric. And you would like to sew a dress for a doll?
As a result you can sew together with the daughter a new dress for a doll, it is interesting to spend time with it, and it will gain new skills.