All best - to children? I Will write
about sore. Because I cannot be silent. To children, of course, all the best, they are flowers of life and all other stamps which put the childhood and children on a pedestal. But it is possible and to fall from there! And it is even very sick. Is not present
, I, of course, understand pleasure become stupid 40 - summer mother at whom is, at last, after career, the third husband and long medical procedures the long-awaited firstborn was born. (I speak about a certain category of the American mothers here.) And now this child born in the country of opportunities (land of opportunities) and the light present does not know how still to be perverted from surplus of toys, chocolates, and sometimes and from maternal love. Of course, it is necessary to love the child. But there is such category of mothers which if could share the same desk with the child, prompt him answers and feed up at the same time candies, with pleasure it would be made. It is not really clear to me. I do not exclude that I am not exemplary mother.
Few years ago my daughter was invited to birthday by the schoolmate. The schoolmate had anniversary - 5 (!) years. Adequately to note, all its class and still a class parallel was invited, just in case, well that all school knew what morning performances her mother arranges. The birthday woman was a fairy, birthday was fantastically - thematic. After group bathing in the pool in the yard (business was in California) 5 - the summer fairy changed clothes from a bathing suit of the fairy in a dress of the fairy, sat down on a throne which towered on a small hillock, and all other children whom there was a person 25 were specified to sit down at a throne below and to observe how the fairy opens gifts. Gifts are opened, the song is sung 2 times (once for a chamber), children are allowed to go home. Bow, applause...
If in 5 years to put it on a throne that the others literally admired it what with it will be years so in 16? Self-confidence, of course, good thing. But really this self-conceit has to be inflated to such sizes? It is clear, that when the child is 5 years old, such holiday is arranged rather for parents, than for children. But the child will not forget and the next year will expect a feast not less.
Children sometimes should be indulged, but at the same time, they should be taught respect for people around, and I doubt that sitting on a throne imparts such respect. The French philosopher Jean Bodrilliar wrote still in 80 - x years that America is the country of surplus, and it is problematic. At them everything is valid is. The people living in houses often are able to afford to have not only the nursery, but also a playroom. The certain room, sometimes all cellar or an attic, are filled, laid, filled with toys. Toys are cheap, are on sale continually. But unless 7 - the summer child needs 35 Barbie, 20 Kenov, 15 sets of felt-tip pens, 284 machines and 8 sets of the railroads? No, the child needs it - all this superfluous. When you have 35 Barbie or 215 machines what difference if to break one? Or 10? Still, how many remained - there is no place to come.
Such surplus causes the corresponding relation. In - the first, nothing is appreciated, and 36 - I already of enthusiasm do not call Barbie. As well as 25 - y the train. These things mean nothing to the child, broke one - is or will buy another, and then such relation is shown to toys and things of the neighbor in a school desk or the friend in a garden: well and that that I broke its machine? Their wons in a magaza, milyyon! And as toys for children (especially small children) - something personally important, then the same relation expresses also to people. Well and that that told muck to the friend - and tomorrow at me the new friend will be! Or even 5!
And parents be touched - I have such friendly child! He / she has every day a new friend! God grant, that it was friendliness. But, unfortunately, most often it is connected with inability to appreciate what is and children treat the person, a toy, the book - anything! - respectively.
Campaigns on inoculations to the children`s doctor who between times asked are remembered: “And what your children eat? You feed them with usual food?“ I was perplexed and what still to feed them with, cat`s? It appears, the doctor about another. Parents often make two dinners: one - for adults, another - for children. And the speech not about babies who, certainly, cannot chew cutlet and carrot, or about those who on a half of the refrigerator have allergies. The speech about children who with shout “I do not want! Faugh, it is not pleasant to me!“ throw a plate on a floor. “Holy Christ! - mother in panic. - My baby will die starvation! I will go - I will warm to it pizzas“. “Aha, - the baby thinks, - on a fig to burst this porridge - carrot - soup when it is possible to shout and will give pizza and ice cream?“ Here two dinners also turn out, and sometimes mother eat healthier food, than their whimsical baby with the father. Grandmothers like to do so sometimes too, but grandmothers are a separate subject, a lot of things it is possible for them that is impossible for parents and the speech not about them.
Such infinite connivances, cases hammered with dresses some of which are thrown out or given to some organization still with labels the rooms full of toys, selective food, sitting on a throne - all this tells to the child one: all is possible for me, I have everything why to me still to do something? (to listen to parents, to study, to think, work...) Or that it is even worse: I have always not enough, I need 500 Barbie, 300 Kenov! Well and so on... Such relation - not the engine of progress, is more likely the engine regressive which develops greed, envy and discontent with - always only are not enough! The most difficult in the country of surplus is to find in all a measure. I had to impose a moratorium on toys: no more than one on the child for a holiday, old in a good shape - on charity.
Bodrilliar writes: “What to do after an orgy? What to do when everything is?“ And the answer it, as well as it is necessary to the philosopher, special does not give. He writes about America in general, but the same logic belongs also to education of children. Perhaps, it is worth not to bringing the matter to “orgy“ and not to buy each toy in shop, and just to speak “no“. Because most likely when this child grows up, he will hear “no“ in the life more than once and what then it will do? To throw plates on a floor? To punch? To shoot from the gun?.