How we will behave when we grow old? “You me niskolechko do not love
! I for you - a burden! Yes, burden! I am not necessary to nobody! I for all of you a burden“ - approximately I heard such words in the childhood still, from my grandfather to whom those far years it was already far for seventy. It lamented it with such anguish, I would tell, with such aspiration that at me involuntarily a tear gathered in the eyes. But not only I cried and my grandfather. Eyes of the daughter of the grandfather, my mother, and not less ours were moistened. But mother cried with disappointment. The offense sharpened her soul because for similar reproaches from the father there were no bases. Nobody threw the grandfather and considered him by a burden.
In the advanced years the grandfather, of course, was not an athlete, but handshake had firm. If I plaid pranks, he could seize so me by a hand and lecture that neither to escape, nor to contradict it I had no forces. It kept a tight rein also on my brothers and sisters. And I cannot call it decrepit. No, by no means. In respect of physical health he was sick, but is not strong. Such here strong breed at it in genes is put.
However in the plan mental to the grandfather it became worse. Mother cared for it as could, and did it carefully, with return. And we grandsons esteemed him. He was at war. Had awards and in general was an authority. But in old age his thinking, its understanding of life and vision of many things changed. I admit, not to the best.
What changes in perception of the world happen to elderly people? What new is in their behavior appears? Now, remembering the grandfather and other people of old age whom I faced, I can allocate the following changes:
At the elderly person become aggravated some feelings, and it becomes much more sentimental. My grandfather, for example, one hundred times watched the movie The Cranes Are Flying. And never cried as he spoke to me. But I saw then, secretly watching his gray-haired head, utknuty in the TV that it wipes tears a scarf which is hasty crumpled by the wrinkled hand. He cried over the fact that he saw tens of times in life before.
If earlier he somehow was unaffected by animals, then in advanced years began to be lisped extraordinary gently literally with a hamster that lived at us in a small cage in kitchen. Still surprised me why watching the old photos, even front, he suddenly began to sob and went to the room where it was tightly closed.
INTOLERANCE TO SHORTCOMINGS of OTHER PEOPLE
In advanced years changes a tolerance threshold, so to speak, to others defects, shortcomings. If earlier, in days of full force, the person quietly could close eyes to shortcomings of close people, then the same shortcoming, say, a habit to gnaw nails, causes the old man already discontent, grumbling and even anger. It is over the years lost, or control over own emotional reactions is considerably weakened, and the elderly person becomes often “intolerable“. So now even the closest people tell about it it. “The old man carps again“, “the hag drove out of mind! Does not give me pass with the notations!“ - such words I heard from lips of people of middle age and young people when they spoke about the old grandfathers and grandmothers.
To us, yet not old people, it is good to learn not to judge our grandfathers and grandmothers in habitual arshin and to try to learn not to scold old men for their grumbling. And just to understand that it is age changes. But, I admit, oh as it is difficult to keep tolerance and not to flare up when you communicate with whimsical and indignant your behavior the elderly person! Unfortunately, and I had cases when I just did not maintain “old man arrivals“ as I called them, and began to be insolent to the same grandfather, and even left, having left in a huff, not wishing to continue conversation. Now I think that the elderly person when too importunately tries to correct you, wants you better to make, to help you, but owing to weakening of control over by the own words and behavior just cannot make it tactfully.
In old age my grandfather, for example, required to himself attention more and more. And mother, and we paid this attention, however it seemed to it that his all family and friends threw. Not without reason he muttered that, say, it now all a burden and a hindrance and that all forgot about it. If, say, I did not pay it any attention, being occupied with the affairs, then the grandfather took offense and pouted. For some time I for it became “bad“ because did not sit with it constantly and did not run on its first call. The most interesting that in youth the grandfather was not noticed in an egoistical warehouse of character.
He was an open person, helped not only to close friends, but also using the powerful situation in structures of the power did not refuse even to third-party people their requests. To it it was important that the shirt was pure, boots are polished, and the suit is ironed. He remembered the requirements in the last turn. But already at advanced age everything changed. The world as if began to rotate around it. It in old age required to itself(himself) vigilant attention and if did not receive it, then strongly took offense.
Ya stood on the street recently and incidentally heard conversation of two old women. One of them reasonably lamented: “Look with this reorganization what is created! They have no turner. There is no carpenter! All technical training colleges were closed, do not learn on the worker now! On which this reorganization was necessary!“ Aged people do not want even political changes any more as I noticed.
Also elderly people hardly master new equipment. At us around the power opened computer club under the original name “Catch Up with the Grandson!“. Its essence that special mentors, so to speak, and actually ordinary young people, students, train people of advanced age of computer literacy. So so far any grandfather did not reach these courses. Grandmothers “are brought up“, but is rare though for them occupation absolutely free.
At my friend the grandmother still is not able to send SMS - ki. She essentially does not want to learn to understand any there fonts and switchings from one mode on another. She learned to use cellular as a usual push-button telephone, and does not aspire to bigger. And she understands that SMS - ki is cheaper and even sometimes more conveniently because you do not distract the subscriber from important things which the person does during the day. But all the same SMS - she does not wish to ityit.
Of course, the above-stated changes in behavior and in thinking of elderly people are observed not always, but, nevertheless, at the vast majority - precisely. The nature you will not deceive and, as well as any live organism, the person wears out. Let`s remember that anyway, that day when begin to give way to each of us in the bus from - for age will come. the Old age still nobody cancelled
, we will wait for it so with advantage.