How to struggle with fear?
Situation. We go to work and we become witnesses something terrible, for example, the pedestrian was hit by the car. And, if we do not possess thick skin, what was seen will make strong impression on us, and even for a long time will unsettle. What most likely we will make, having come to office?
Yes, precisely! Let`s tell colleagues about this case, we will curse the driver the last words, for the best, naturally. What we, actually, do? We start an internal negative which will grow as a snowball. We will paint the scary picture as ourselves want to get rid of the endured fear, having told about it to other people.
Our everyday life includes fear and alarm as elements of normal vital process. The sense put by the nature in the fear mechanism - in ability it is correct to react to dangerous situations. Most often we react to fear, freezing (falling into a stupor) or running away from a danger source. Some people react to a severe stress, splashing out the fear on people around - shout, call to the aid. Active experience of fear is very popular. Such behavior allows to draw successfully attention to itself, to take time with thrills, allows under a convenient pretext not to do that there is no wish. Of course, it is heavy to carry the endured stress from what was seen in itself, but it is necessary to try to assess soberly a situation as far as it is really dangerous. Perhaps, to tell acquaintances whose route lies on a zone of road risk if the situation occurred for the reasons, independent of the pedestrian, and on it to try to calm down.
Usefulness of fear changes together with age of the person. If the fear is useful to the small child while he does not realize dangers, it is possible to bring up it, warning about consequences. Fears in most cases disturb adults. The majority of them become thought up. Unfortunately, unsuccessful life experience leads to the fact that life in constant fear and alarm becomes norm, especially for elderly people. Habitual are an unfortunate person and infinite lamentations: “As it became terrible to live!“ Our task - to help itself to realize that “did not become, and you frightened yourself“.
Often we confuse two concepts - fear and alarm, that is feeling of fear of uncertain things. The normal alarm is an expectation something uncertain, but usual, for example, flight by plane to other country. Here roll all possible fears on us. In this situation it is necessary to realize what I actually am afraid most of all of. It is necessary to tell himself: yes, I very much am afraid that the plane will crash and I will die. It is necessary to learn to isolate the concrete fear and to be afraid of it, then it will become easier to interact with it.
Our alarm is non-uniform. If the normal level of alarm - vigilance is necessary for residents of the megalopolis in everyday life, it allows to avoid unpleasant situations, then the alarm becomes pathological when the occasion which caused it is disproportionate to nervousness force. The neurotic alarm appears when we try to drive away from ourselves disturbing thoughts, without realizing concrete fears. In total nothing if this alarm did not become an ordinary emotional background of our life.
Situation. The specific person is unpleasant to us, we are afraid of him, we shudder when we hear his voice, or we try to avoid a meeting when we see it from far away. We begin to abuse ourselves for weak will and cowardice and we continue to pull in the head in a trunk for fear.
Silly to avoid meetings with it, thereby you run for the fear. It is necessary to force itself from contact to contact with object of fear to accept the state, and, above all - to understand the reason why I it am afraid that he can really make for me dangerous? Then to divide the fear reason into components, perhaps, to speak the feelings with the loved one to whom you trust and to move further on the way of self-improvement.
How to struggle with fear? It is not necessary to struggle with fear. It is useless. Unfortunately, than more we fight, especially terrible thoughts seize us. It is necessary to fight against intensity of manifestations of fear. At the level of a body to try to relax the clamped muscles, to restore the got-off breath. As it is paradoxical, but the best way to get rid really of fear is to recognize that it to you, as well as all people, happens terribly. If we knew what others are afraid of, we, probably, long would laugh. It is necessary to allow to be afraid and, perhaps, soon you will notice that intensity of fear gradually decreases.
Good cure for alarm is ability to distract . When you are paralyzed by alarm, it is very difficult. For example, favourite occupation of people who have children - teenagers to wait for return of children home and to be anxious very much, mobile phones for some reason do not help with this situation. It is clear, that circulation from a window to a window and imagination of scary pictures will only strengthen fear. When the hand already lasts to ring round the relevant institutions, it is necessary to try to remember something personal, but positive that happened to you at teenage age. To get photos, to ship itself in memoirs - perhaps, and will release.
Not without reason speak - “fear takes molehills for mountains“, often it turns out that as soon as we cease to exaggerate probability of misfortunes, the fear recedes and we come back from the invented fairy tale to reality. Besides the fear is incompatible with physical activity . If you go outside and will run two times around the house - the fear will strongly decrease.
Also your attention “strengthening of fear“ to well proved method - would be desirable to draw . The method is simple: when really you are afraid of something, it is necessary to strengthen the fear to the maximum mark.
For example, you suffer sleeplessness and know that you will not manage to fall asleep in time. Force themselves “awfully“ to be afraid to sleep, be afraid to fall asleep, by all means, and … it is possible, instead of irritation at thought of tortures of sleepless night receive a healthy sleep. Conscious fear - almost won.