How to win against sense of guilt?
Many people constantly feel before someone guilty. Sense of guilt is a huge freight which becomes more difficult to be dragged every year. How to get rid of it?
The before people will be acquired by one simple rule, the his life will be easier to develop. The rule it says: “There is no my fault that I do not meet others expectations“. But to acquire it and the more so to realize much it appears almost not in power.
To any person (if, of course, he is not the finished cynic) always is what to reproach itself with. In this case it is possible to get rid of sense of guilt in such a way: to ask forgiveness for the one to whom once caused offense or was hurt, that is to untie these knots once and for all.
Sense of guilt arises when acts, emotions and feelings do not meet the standard standards of behavior. However borders of these norms are washed strongly away, and most often all depends on education. Angry mother shouts at the child: “Stop to rustle, I was bothered by your machines, I cannot have a rest from - for you!“ Sometimes it is enough one similar phrase that the child had a fault complex. Though there is no special occasion, at first sight: all children rustle, all play outdoor games at home.
Sense of guilt is created by the person, is more right - two: accusing and by itself. One tries to impose the ideas of life, and another agrees that these thoughts necessarier, than its own. For example, mother reproaches the adult daughter that that does not wish to carry on long telephone conversations with her, and is limited to couple of phrases, referring to employment. Every time she complains: “Here is how you treat me!“ The classical example of a manipulation by means of sense of guilt is available here. If the person klyuyot on such tricks, is much simpler to operate him.
Everyone has full authority to live, being guided by own common senses (without infringing at the same time upon interests of others, it is natural). The person is not guilty that his vital principles, habits and preferences not such, as at others. Of course, in life there are a lot of situations when it is necessary to look for a compromise, but you should not forget that it means concessions on both sides.
The word “no“ - the most pertinent if there was at least a suspicion on manipulation. Who is guilty that since morning rainy weather, phone broke, and the chief has a bad mood. Rescues humour from foreign irritation.
Psychologists claim that the complex of fault goes near an inferiority complex. The person who never forgives himself mistakes and misses begins to consider himself defective, not worthy happiness. The complex of fault can sometimes develop into an autoaggression, that is into a devil-may-care attitude to own appearance, health or into attempts to get the unpromising relations over and over again.
How to avoid all this? To smile and tell itself: “I forgive you...“
Much short-term sense of guilt does well only - helps to become more tolerant and softer. But only not when the imaginary, imposed by people around fault long gnaws, and the person unjustly suffers, reproaching himself for own (nonexistent actually) imperfection.