How to reduce amount of daily fears?
Let`s talk today about fears and fears which pursue practically any person.
So is arranged our mentality, more precisely our uneasy mind that will surely think up some negative succession of events - be it failure in an important issue, misunderstanding in communication, loss of money, health or life.
Remember how often you twist adverse succession of events in the head. If we do not know precisely what our future will lead us to, mind will surely throw a terrifying story.
the Child was late from school - there was something awful, ceased to share the thoughts - got to the bad company. At the husband phone began a thicket to call - brought the girlfriend. The employee looked with a baleful look - probably, is offended by something. the Chief muttered
in response to a greeting - is dissatisfied with something and now will deprive of an award ….
Such concerns in a day it can be gained up to several tens. Especially “talented“ people endure up to one hundred similar small fears, being, thus, is constant in a condition of a stress.
Why it occurs? our mind is programmed by
on protection of our life, and its task to warn about possible danger. It executes this function regularly.
Another thing is that dangerous mind considers events which not always bear in themselves threat.
Here the mean joke is played first of all by education. Fears begin from the childhood.
So developed that in our culture it is not accepted to share the fears, concerns are an indicator of weakness and immaturity. Other option - there is a wish to share, but it is terrible, will not understand.
of the Child learn not to pay attention to fears, to overcome, get it together, not to think out nonsense, to be courageous … the fears which are not taken out outside are saved by
in subconsciousness, creating the general background - terribly and there is no decision. For the life the person accumulates a huge number of irrational fears because in the childhood could not realize them, had no enough experience to share real fears for invented. Could not cope with them, could not find the solution in these situations and imaginations, dangerous to the child.
Many adults continue to live with fears of darkness, ghosts, monsters or the recovered dolls.
The saved-up fears gradually turn into subconsciousness, are forced out as the adult tries to convince himself that it is a shame to be afraid, it is nonsense and dangers do not.
A subconsciousness writes down these “programs“ - darkly, so terribly. Shout, so danger. Do not talk, so do not love.
Even if the adult tries not to notice similar thoughts, they work at the deep subconscious level.
I joins a chain - the spouse raised the voice, does not love, danger to be thrown, fear. Consciously all chain is not noticed because subconsciousness which reproduction speed in hundreds of times exceeds the speed of work of conscious mind works.
the Woman notices only part of a chain - increase of a voice - fear.
The fear demands to be ready to reflect danger and therefore an organism as the serviceable mechanism, gives a portion of energy for protection. But as situations often are actually not dangerous, and the person does not use the emitted energy for fight or flight, the given potential “gets stuck“ in muscles, in the nervous terminations, in consciousness. Energy is emitted, but not used.
If the blocked energy not to dump, not to be exempted from it, our muscles will constantly be in a ready state, tension. So there is a muscular armor which over and over again slows down the movement. We become less live, less flexible, less fast. Besides the strengthened allocation of energy on the solution of stressful situations leads to an overexpenditure and, as a result, to common fault of vital energy.
And the person who has a low energy potential it is obvious more weakly than others, so, is exposed to a bigger danger. And the new unknown situation seems even more dangerous, unpredictable succession of events even more menacing.
Of course, we speak now about those for whom actually large number of irrational fears.
Though feels various fears practically everyone, but active, energetically strong, so, self-assured people with ease cope with small fears, often is even imperceptible for itself.
What to do to those who sees for himself danger in each ordinary situation.
In - the first, to realize what danger is expected. Ask yourself a question what there can be the most terrible?
If is a lot of fears, there is a sense to write down them on a sheet of paper.
For example, I am afraid of
- that I will be thrown
- I am afraid to remain alone
- to die of hunger
- I will not be able to communicate and I will go crazy … Than the fear is more irrational
, it seems to those more dangerously. As our subconsciousness does not know an exit from this situation.
Further, ask once again this question - What there will be the most terrible? - now to each point from your list.
That there will be the most terrible when I am thrown
That there will be the most terrible when I remain one
That there will be the most terrible when I die of hunger
That there will be the most terrible when I go crazy.
Sometimes, already the answer to a question is given by understanding that the situation unreal and fear passes.
If the fear remains, dispel further this history - present as you live when you remained alone. What bad? And what good in it? Develop history, represent how everything occurs, create the movie. Think out plots which can make of the drama the fairy tale with the happy end or the comedy.
The joke which is good for sounding emotionally is remembered.
- One … Absolutely alone …
- One. Absolutely. One.
- One? Absolutely alone?
- One, absolutely alone
- One!!! Absolutely alone!!! If we deliberate
over an adverse situation in a key of search of possible successful options, pluses and prizes, then often frightening prospect turns into an interesting opportunity. Or stops being dangerous and not solvable.
In - the second , thoughts at which such way not really approaches are. For example, it concerns fear of loss of relatives. In this case, a question - what the most terrible will occur? - can create a bigger stress and fear.
Think that as you do not know how events will really be developed, the probability can be both positive, and negative.
the Teacher asks the student:
- what probability to meet in the center of the capital of a dinosaur?
- fifty on fifty, - the girl answers.
- or I will meet, or - no.
And your potentially dangerous situation can end either it is good, or it is bad.
If we can scroll for hours negative option, then why not to twist in the head as much time positive succession of events?
Think up as much as possible options of successful permission of a situation.
Let these options will be fantastic, unreal, impossible.
They have the same chances to implementation - or will be, or - no.
A then pay attention to the emotional state - your mood considerably will improve.
If you have no opportunity to affect an outcome of the situation frightening you, then it is much more pleasant to expect it permission in good mood, and it is safer, than to be nervous in advance.
If development of the situation in some measure depends on you, then you show to your mind a possibility of the positive decision, and with the improved mood will begin to act more actively and effectively.
In - the third, look for something ridiculous in your frightening situation.
For the similar attitude towards fears is necessary some habit, but this skill can be trained quickly if more often to address such way of the decision. Oscar Wilde called
laughter safety measures of life.
In any situation when training, it is possible to find something ridiculous.
“even if ate you, you always have two exits“.
You are afraid that your appearance creates bad image?
“Einstein very carelessly treated the clothes - walked
in the only old jacket. After moving to the States it
received the remark from employees:
- you a world celebrity, and are out at elbows!
- Everything is equal me here nobody knows...
Passed half a year.
- you a world celebrity, and continue to be out at elbows!
- Everything is equal me here all already know...“
you are nervous what your husband does not talk to you?
“The wife - to the husband:
- the Villain! Why when we quarrel, you are silent all the time?!“
you worry that there will come the rainy day soon?
“So much is provided against a rainy day that already I expect it with impatience.“ you are afraid to get sick with
“Any your health, will have enough it until the end of life. “
the Ironic relation to a frightening situation liberates energy, allows to leave a condition of a stress and to estimate sensibly, the problem is how real.
Approach your daily fears creatively and they will recede, having made room for tranquility and pleasure of life.