What can spoil any relations?
In this article will be understood as the relations a way of interaction you as persons with other objects live and not wildlife. In the world around us constantly there is a number of objective events. For example we will present a situation: the rain began; the electric train departed from a platform in the subway and you did not manage to sit down in it; your beloved does not call you; at work detained a salary for 2 days; the child soiled a shirt etc. Most likely you already reading these lines began to experience certain emotions, and I yes can assume that they have negative coloring. YOU think that all these emotions are caused by these events? It`s not true. Between objective events and your emotions there is one more component is that you think of these or those events.
Any events which are taking place in the outside world they are neutral, and have no what emotional coloring. Rain - an objective event expected to fall. The person who grows up a harvest on a kitchen garden can think: at last rain expected to fall and I do not need to water a hotbed any more, it is possible to leave it for the night open, this objective event after such thoughts finds emotionally positive coloring. Or the same person can think: to me will fill in all potato and if the rain goes couple of days, it precisely all will decay - these thoughts cause already anger and irritation, on the same neutral event.
Other example: The person who hurries for work and left the house, without having taken an umbrella, can think, bad weather again, I all will wet through, again the working day was not set - as a result of such thoughts the event gets negatively emotional coloring. And at the same time the same person can have other thoughts: perfectly, after a rain it will be easy and fresh to breathe, I will be cheerfully at work.
And so, 1y the factor which can spoil any relations is your own thoughts, and to tell quality of your thoughts more true. This mistake is made by many people at interaction with world around.
How to fight against it?
Try to trace that you think and as you think, and remember that the events surrounding us are neutral!
However there is one more “the awful monster“ who can spoil any relationship is our EXPECTATIONS.
For those who do not watch quality of the thoughts this monster is reliably fixed in subconsciousness and torments you and people around.
What I would be more clear to you I will explain on a concrete example from the practice of psychological consultation. To me the woman, absolutely in an emotional turmoil came to consultation, she actually could not eat, drink, sleep, all schedule of her work-rest schedule was brought down at all. And its situation was very simple: she got acquainted on a dating site with the man, they communicated and met about two weeks, then they had a proximity, and then at once the man was gone and ceased to respond to her letters, calls, removed its contacts from Skype. Though nothing, in her opinion, foretold a similar gap. As a result in a month this woman actually brought herself to nervous exhaustion.
This woman was long time for the husband, then divorced and now again had accurate intention to find to itself the husband. She never got acquainted in such a way on the Internet, and of course EXPECTED that similar acquaintance will be same, as well as in real life and will lead to marriage. Though who communicates on social networks perfectly understand that it is possible to write about himself anything, but not the fact that in life of people it will be such actually. Especially modern dating sites are entirely filled with offers intim of services and most of people follow it there.
During consultation we had to untangle a ball of its EXPECTATIONS to reveal objective events and to learn to think qualitatively. And the worst consequences of these expectations the fact that the poor woman visited on herself a heap of labels that she both silly and ugly and is not able to have sex and in general she is not lucky with men.
How we established objective events, and found out in what there was a parting reason?
Objective events in this situation it appeared a few 3 friendly meetings and 2 meetings of intimate character, well and communication in which people received life particulars, interests of each other. At what, the speech about any marriage and the long relations during these events did not go. It were only EXPECTATIONS and “not qualitative thoughts“ of this woman. But the desire to love it was so big that all and it managed to be recognized, for that small period of communication that for this man important, we also confirmed this information, having made his astrological card and a horoscope of compatibility (made a sinastriya). Further, I to it helped to understand that exactly asking questions in certain area, significant for it, it is possible to call this man on contact.
There is one more small counter: by means of Vedic astrology Dzhyotish the special number which is under the influence of energy of the planet of the client answering in the birth chart for a matrimony and partnership was picked up and this day SMS was sent it, and long-awaited contact with the beloved took place. The beloved called back literally in three hours as he received SMS and explained all situation.
And here is how, actually, the picture (an objective event) without EXPECTATION of the woman looks: it turned out that the man just had troubles, and he left, replaced number of an office number. And he absolutely did not intend to throw specially it, and of course did not think of it that she is a bad, ugly, improper wife and actually he plans to communicate with it in the future.
I hope, this example well illustrates what is objective events and what is expectations and will help you to understand or avoid similar situations, not to wind itself emotionally and to bring itself to a state that it is necessary to address for consultations astro - psychologists. Of course, experts can help with difficult situations, but how to be told hope for God yes itself not ploshay.
And finally one more valuable advice: How to insure itself from expectations?
When you something think, plan, instead of the phrase “I want that it, or there either that, or you … … … …. “, which starts the mechanism of expectations, tell the phrase “I want that to me … … ….“ This phrase starts the mechanism of active actions, and realization of your dreams.
Dreams are never executed always, and EXPECTATIONS, remember it!