How to find itself? How to understand what you want?
I Will give several examples of addresses from clients. What unites them?
“Thank God, the situation is not so awful, but personally for me it is very important. It will define all my further life. The matter is that I study in the 11th class, and I am faced by the choice - how to be farther.“
“I have the following problem: I do not know what to do after the termination of institute. Now I study on the 5th course in pharmaceutical higher education institution. To work in a drugstore or the medical representative there is no special desire. At receipt did not think of it and did not know at all what I want. What will you advise?“
“Me disturbs that can discharge from office. The reason of concern is in what I do not know where to go after dismissal, does not pull to anything. Prompt how to be.“
In my opinion, these people is united that they approach the vital intersection at which it is necessary to choose the road: to the right, on the left, directly... At everyone the intersection.
All of them are in confusion. The situation is similar to when to the ship here - here to put out to sea, and the captain does not know the direction of a way yet. To get timidly into the ship and to float on the ocean of life without compass, without knowing the destination.
Someone you collect foreign opinions as the collector packs necessary things in the collection somehow to clear a situation and to choose the way. Someone tears head hair, in alarm before the future. But all of them - look for themselves.
Each of them does not know what all - wants that it is interesting to it to what the soul lies. But at the same time knows precisely what does not want.
How to understand that there is a wish where that business in which my soul will find rest and pleasure...?
I am convinced that can find the answer to this question everyone. Independently or with someone`s help.
Usually several moments help.
1. To remember, than it was pleasant to be engaged in the childhood whom there was a wish to become.
Children, without reflecting, say that it is interesting to them and what they want to be engaged in: to be a children`s writer, the artist, to design any pieces, to treat people... It is not always simple to remember this moment. It is filled up from above with garbage of fashion, advertizing, foreign opinions and preferences. Answering this question, something banal that wanted to become the astronaut or that there was a wish for nothing is remembered often, just often played soccer. The happy moments of the childhood, but not that business to which there was an interest are remembered.
I, by the way, too not especially remember, than wanted to be engaged in the childhood. Parents speak, laughing that I wanted to be a shepherd. But I do not remember it. But at school I remember that questions of memory, attention, methods of storing, development of intelligence terribly interested. Interested such questions as that there is in the person it that moves him behavior. Now I pledge it more concrete words and concepts: then interested me mental processes, psychological problems, questions of motivation, self-realization. But in general, it is similar to children`s interests.
If with memories of the childhood hardly, that is one more reference point.
2. To look to which of people there is a feeling of envy - perhaps, in what this person is engaged and is that business in which you should be engaged.
I borrowed this idea from M. E. Litvak in one of his books. And really, I for example, recently very much fell in love with the ballet. But I do not envy dancers. In the same way, I do not envy surgeons, football players - though I admire their work.
But happens that I envy, to lecturers who tell about human problems, about meaning of life. Sometimes such internal feeling that on its place there had to be I. Sometimes feeling of indignation, for the fact that talk well frank nonsense from the sphere of psychology, illiterate and that I on its place could sound more useful and efficient things.
One my client with a certain awe told about the politician who protected the law, any information on corruption in state. bodies directed in the procurator, submitted applications to courts. In our case, it is not important what the figure is.
Pay attention that it does, than the person to whom there is an envy is engaged. To what there is this feeling. This in what it is worth being engaged is possible. In case of my client - it is, of course, the sphere of law, legal protection.
But there are also ambiguous answers to this question. For example, one client answered: “the feeling of envy (white) is available to businessmen - oligarchs. If there was a lot of money initially, then, most likely, would put them in reliable bank or several banks - under percent and would live quietly, and would even not begin to invest them in projects. Quite would arrange the passive income.“
In this case all - is traced envy not to business, and it is rather a thirst to have financial stability, a material basis to feel more surely. In my opinion, the feeling of confidence gives everything - not material prosperity, but it is a separate subject...
If envy is only to rich people, that is one more reference point.
3. Answer a question, than I would be engaged if it was not necessary to think of a salary if there is a lot of money what it would not be necessary to worry about them?
This question is good the fact that answering it, the person for a while as if enters a condition of freedom. His consciousness is discharged, gets rid of criterion “where more money who gets paid more“. Answers turn out unexpected, for example: “I would study the nature, minerals, would grow up flowers and plants“.
Some hobby appears often such answer. It is very successful option. Then it is necessary to make what? To develop the program of how to turn a hobby into the professional activity which is bringing in the income and to carry out this action plan.
If the hobby bringing joy, no, then I bring to your attention one more reference point.
4. Look in that business in which you are engaged now what its part is most interesting to you? Possibly is what it is worth paying attention to.
One my client, the head of a bank branch, only of all the colleagues tried to obtain that to heads of branches, would allow to visit courts and to participate in judicial proceedings. Other heads did not need it and it is not interesting.
It with success resolves legal issues, for example, as in the lease contract of the room under office of branch to formulate and consider different legal subtleties. Difficult questions, but he for some reason finds them solutions and is engaged in it. In free time helps businessmen to make out and register their firms legally.
Among all aspects of its activity there is an economy, sales, the organization, accounts department and others - to it is interesting and it best of all gets a job in the legal sphere.
Still example. Working in bank in what party pulled me? Not in crediting, neither in analyses of statistical data, nor in technology, nor in creation of new products.
I in bank am interested most of all relationship between chiefs and subordinated, between heads. Why uneasiness of the head brings turmoil in work of all department? How it is possible to respond to roughness of the head? From - for what there are conflicts? Why subordinated sabotage decisions of heads and oppose to changes? How to hold meetings that they ended not only ineffectual talk, but also the approved decision etc. of
I still. At the answer to these questions whether at the choice of the way it is necessary to be guided by opinions of other people? Difficult question...
In my opinion, you should not do it. You should not go to study as the mathematician only because the friend of the father sees in you the powerful analyst. You should not go to study as the doctor only because the grandmother was a paramedic, and mother was a doctor. You should not go to work as the lawyer only because the family has an opportunity to attach you on the good place.
What is wanted by you?
Generally, take a sheet of paper, or the blank file of the computer and write. Write everything that comes to mind, answering questions.
There will be doubts, there will be new questions, there will be unsatisfactory answers, on a surface not the desires, but the strangers introduced by parents, society will emerge.
I urge you to work soul.