Rus Articles Journal

Questions to the psychologist. Part 1

I will give some questions and answers to them This time. Here those questions, answers to which obviously people estimated as useful are given or that is called these answers “hit the bull`s eye“.

Some questions can seem silly, amateurish, youthful. Of course, from height of life experience it will be so, in comparison with our problems what we will read - a real trifle. But for this purpose, who wrote them, it is rather whole problem which is not allowing to sleep.

Some answers can seem also not answers to a question at all, and something another. Yes, it and from time to time answers, in general, are also not necessary to the person. And what is necessary? Sometimes it is difficult for person to understand what happens to him, but he obviously does not speak about it, or on the view of the purpose, idea is narrowed so much that does not notice anything else. And clearing of what is created in his soul a look from outside, are salutary.

So, questions to the psychologist and answers to them:

1. “Why when I refuse to people, I become feel sorry for them?“ If you are concerned about

from - that refusing to people, you become feel sorry for them, then perhaps you are convinced that the decent person always and can help with everything and has to help another.

In - the first, has not always to, and not always can, depends on a situation.

In - the second, not that has to, and is its choice act this way rather, but not differently.

2. “To go to study as faculty “Management“ it is equivalent to a failure?“ In my opinion, to a failure not revenues to concrete faculty, and following to fashion, prestige of faculty and so forth are equivalent


If to be guided by the interests, by the purposes, by the fact that you want, then it is equivalent to success, and the choice of faculty - already technical such moment, not decisive for success.

3. “Help please!!!

Some of my fellow students constantly I do me dirty tricks. For example, I only in group could solve homework which was set by the teacher. And incidentally told also the fellow students that I made it. After that I went to a smoking-room to a smoke break. I come back from a smoke break a notebook about the house. a task was gone from a bag.

Or, for example, one more was at me a case. I work during study. I was told by my friend and the fellow student that I am very strongly envied by some fellow students from - for the fact that I combine study, work and get a grant And thereof between envious persons the coalition led by the head of my group was formed. This coalition set a goal to fill up me at session. As they consider that if I work, then I should not get a grant.

How to arrive in this situation?? “

Perceive it as additional examination which you take at University of life … What do you want to make what result to receive?

As option, look for literature on practical psychology, on management and at the same time you will work skills and knowledge of interaction in group and resolutions of conflicts.

Good luck!

4. “The diploma of the Moscow higher education institution or the diploma from higher education institution of federal level?“

In my opinion, you make the choice by insignificant criterion now - the status and prestige of HIGHER EDUCATION INSTITUTION.

My experience prompts that the success in life is brought not by(with) the status of HIGHER EDUCATION INSTITUTION, but qualification, skills with which the person leaves HIGHER EDUCATION INSTITUTION whether it can be useful to other people, firms.

I on your place would answer such questions? What field of activity is pleasant to me? How to me this or that HIGHER EDUCATION INSTITUTION can help to develop my abilities? What knowledge and with what bias it will be necessary for me for realization of the desires?

5. “What does sexually attractive girl mean to men?“ Watching

for whom.

If you ask the young poorly educated guy, then for him is a short skirt, beautiful legs, availability.

If you ask the man who achieved much the work, a lot of things understanding self-sufficient and provided is an aspiration to self-development, own outlooks on life and interests, hobby for physical culture, following to the desires, principles, independence.

You want to be sexually attractive to which of them?

Existence of feelings is self-evident.

6. “In a year I graduate from Higher education institution in the Organization of transportations and management on transport, I want to find work on this specialty, and everywhere demand experience (((… Maybe you will prompt what to begin with?“

In spite of the fact that demand experience, can be taken also without experience if you inform the employer of thought that you:

1. You understand that business in which you will be engaged in

2. You will bring benefit to

3 firm. You want to work in this firm.

Well it is also not necessary to ask transcendental salaries, admitting the fact that for firm the graduate is a semi-finished product which was never taken and which risk.

7. “How to be with girls who like to pose as the touchy person?“ Before it needs to answer with

the question “it is pleasant to you?“.

And all the rest will become obvious.

8. Whether “It is worth living with the husband if he does not excite and never excited? Between us only spiritual harmony. We so live 7 years. It seems to me that not compatibility at the physiological level, from it and it is sad, I understand that you will correct nothing. “

It is sad that in structure of the relations a spiritual component super, and sexual - any …

Other question whether you want to understand the reasons why it does not excite: lack of skills, or incompatibility at the physiological level, or something else. But you raise a question more resolutely: to remain or leave.

9. “For Islam homosexuality is a sin as far as all is cruel? I want to accept Islam. Just I often adjoin to a homosexuality subject, and I do not consider that it so is bad. One person told that communication with gays will be also my sin too, this is true?“

Judging by this logic, and communication with thieves and murderers and perjurers even of lawyers, investigators, prosecutors and judges is a sin too?

Your actions are your actions. And actions of another are its actions and its responsibility to God.

Well and other question, for what purpose you will communicate.

10. “Friends are learned in pleasure or in the mountain?“ would tell

Ya that friends are learned in a critical situation.

Situation of a severe accident:

- One business, the girlfriend in hospital movable by desire to support me visited.

- Another matter, the girlfriend in hospital, movable by desire to give me help and by that as if to tower and improve itself in own eyes visited.

a pleasure Situation - received serious increase in work:

- One business, the friend congratulated me, was delighted, embraced me.

- Another matter, the one who was a friend somehow avariciously let fall words, and then ceased to communicate.

11. “Men - careerists love women - careerists? Or not?“ the Question, in fact, reminds

a question: fans of chocolate love lovers of chocolate?

Whether the desire of career by the main and decisive factor for sympathy is? In my opinion, it is an insignificant sign.

If you asked this question at personal meeting, then I at you would specify: “Perhaps, you doubt feelings of the specific man? Or you doubt and whether you are interesting to it?“

12. “The girl says that she does not want to meet anybody now, but does not refuse communication. And I fell in love with her … and now I do not even know as to do.“

Two options:

1. She treats you kindly, and she just does not want to communicate, something is afraid, unsuccessful experience. It is possible to porasprashivat about the reasons.

2. She treats you badly and just plays with you, leashes, but close does not admit.

You in confusion are also afraid that it is the second option, probably.

13. “How to stop wishing to have the girl?“ To have the girl“ - in sense to get a passion, to meet, Platonic love, but not sex.“ the Nature that is called calls

, and you try to otbrykatsya from it the same as some try to muffle feeling of hunger or feeling of thirst … Is possible

, you are convinced that the relations prevent you to achieve some objectives, and look for ways how whether to muffle the desire …

Is valid it so, and the relations disturb? It is a question.

14. “Hello, and you can help me to make the decision to go to Moscow to work or remain? I gained the diploma recently.“
a choice Problem - how to make the decision

Rose before the choice: to remain in the current city or to leave, would like to understand and find somehow the firm soil, the basis for decision-making?

In principle, for certain, you have in life such moments, some turning points when you made the choice, made the decision followed it and for it you respect yourself now, it was the act! For example, to make a declaration of love to the guy, or to decide to learn English independently …. it is a lot of everything ….

From today`s timepoint those difficulties and difficulties which were in the past as are perceived what see???

Now many small factors interfere, momentary for which it is impossible to be hooked making decisions because they are unsteady … Try to distract from them. It can be made in two ways:

- to present one that you were just born and the magic fairy with a stick will execute any your desire. :) any, also present how you then in the future arrive in today`s moment.

- to present another that already there passed 10 or 20 years - what any option is pleasant more … And from there from the future look for today to what it is represented Who you when appeared in this moment … are

U you different versions of the decision likely is, in principle their two … Also it is possible to do such exercise: to mentally present that you completely made one decision, completely you follow it that happens to you when you live, in a year, through 3, in 10 years … What to you in this life, comfortably whether it is pleasant … Here is how the clothes happen, one fits well, another well inconvenient, holds down the movements.

Then to do the same with other alternative. To look what it ….

To listen to heart, having discharged of momentary benefits, preferences, doubts … Answering a question, “who I when I live here such life am, making such decision … And such decision …“ the Choice is always followed by

with the victim … It will be necessary to refuse something, to sacrifice to the decision and in the victim for achievement of that purpose or value to which you adhere … of

Make the list when you “live“ one of options that any more never making the choice

“I …“

“I any more never …“

“I already …“ on days off will never walk on the favourite avenue every week, I will not pass on a convenient minibus, I do not descend in favourite cafe and so on and so on. All that should be sacrificed, accepting this or that choice.