How to be born again?
the First birth happen to us incidentally. Without suspecting anything, we are born, welcoming this world the indignant shout: “What it you afford? Now return me back!“ This birth physiological, it separated us from mother, forced to breathe, ask independently about food, to regulate temperature of own body, to test all delights of laws of physical reality, to feel hunger and cold, to feel that the body has requirements.
The rebirth has to happen to us later. It can occur both in twenty five, and in fifty, and can not occur in general. This time we have to be born from system of parental beliefs, hatch from a shell of instructions and scenarios which were left to us by our childhood, from requirement to meet expectations of people around of itself, from aspiration to be useful to someone, from dependence on an external assessment and approval.
This birth psychological. It forces us to take the responsibility for the relations, misses and failures, to appreciate itself regardless of our usefulness or uselessness (from the point of view of modern culture and society), to plan own life, not to take the responsibility for life and happiness of other people, not to consider itself as the victim of circumstances, to ask the question “What for?“, but not “Why?“, to consider itself pertinent and valuable and favourite, to allow itself the desires, to declare the unwillingness.
The rebirth will be more difficult than the first. The psychological birth is optional. It is possible to function also at the level of the first birth. And then, regretting for the missed opportunity to be born the second time, we speak to ourselves: “Nothing, others live, and nothing“, “Well it is worse, than at others“. Besides, responsibility - more difficult piece, than game in “the victim of circumstances and bad people“.
“Victim“ - the most widespread and socially approved obrazzhizn in our society. Having stopped being the victim, we risk to lose approval of people around and part of people around too.
In what the rebirth differs from the first? Harbingers of a rebirth will come to your life in the form of discontent with how you live it now, in the form of understanding that you do not so, in the form of understanding of some beliefs which disturb you, in search of examples as it is possible to work in a different way, in visit of psychological trainings and seminars.
It is the first two strips on the test of your psychological pregnancy by itself. Now you have time to take out all these feelings, feelings, emotions. During this time you will feel fear of changes, will argue that now all is known and it is safe and as will be “there“ - it is unknown and is unclear, will not know what to begin with, will try to find somebody who will make for you the “correct“ decision (I hope that it will refuse to you), will postpone “for later“ other options of your life.
But to proceed cannot infinitely do it (as well as in a case with physiological pregnancy) and time of childbirth will come. It is terrible, sometimes is sick, not always predictably, not as usually, tensely, ugly. And here you make the last choice. For example, you agree to pass through it and you dive into process of changes and updating to be born again.
Or you refuse. At the last minute you say “no, it not for me, I will wait still“. Also you are not born. In case of physiological pregnancy doctors interfere with process and stimulate childbirth to avoid death of the child.
And who will interfere with your process? Who will help you to be born? On whom else you count? On whom responsibility for your rebirth lies? How long you will put off yourself?
You remember, it will never be easy, without serious consequences, simply, safely. Complexity, fear, uncertainty, lack of a support is the price which we have to pay for ourselves, again given rise.
You love yourself and the relatives.