Rus Articles Journal

How to fight against children`s envy?

Adults understand that everything cannot be possessed, and learn to appreciate what have. To the child such position is not absolutely clear - it difficultly to assume that someone has such toy, and at it is not present. From here also envy appears.

Adults are able to hide desires and emotions, and children sincerely in the manifestations. Therefore children`s envy is always evident. To hope that the child will grow wiser with age, is not necessary. Any negative emotions embitter, do the person stale and slow down his further development.

Children`s envy is given rise by egocentric attitude of the child. He watches at the world with such thoughts that here all only for it. And meanwhile at heart the offense often collects that the neighbour`s boy draws better and to him often buy new toys. Unfair, according to the child, distribution of material benefits imprints in subconsciousness for a long time if not forever. Envy to new toys envy to the new mobile phone, fashionable sneakers succeeds, to more modern model of the computer. Accumulation in soul of a negative causes nervousness and feeling of own lameness.

Parents should trying to avoid situations where the child will feel deprived. Adults are sometimes so busy with the problems that absolutely lose sight of own child. No material compensation will replace parental attention. It is necessary to try to find time and to do pleasant to the child. But it is only one solution. Needs of children, especially monetary, grow nearly daily. Also there can be a situation when they face impossibility of purchase of this or that thing.

The child since the earliest years should trying to be disaccustomed to melancholy for others things and to teach to use with pleasure what he has. If it, for example, snatched out in a sandbox at the peer a toy, it is necessary to try to return right there it to the owner and to compensate impossibility of possession of others thing of purchase of a new toy or drawing attention to long ago forgotten. But this method should not turn into the vital principle. All actions have to be directed to that the child learned to appreciate the things. Long explanations of it not to achieve - everything is learned in practice. Without feeling sorry for time, it is necessary to show in game to the child the value of objects and toys familiar to it. Only then he really realizes that to play with its machine or a bear also interestingly.

Quite often parents as incentive choose desire of the child or his cherished dream (the new bicycle for good study). But what will be if the child does not cope and will not receive a desirable gift? There will be a negative experience which will long live in his soul. The child can draw for himself a conclusion that it is not loved that it bad and to you it is not necessary to try especially further if his efforts do not bring the necessary result. It is impossible to blackmail children with their dream! Besides, except negative feelings, the child can have a living position “any means are good for the sake of achievement of the purpose“. Therefore it is important to inform it that the person learns to draw or dance first of all for receiving pleasure in time, but not to equal someone`s hopes for its future.

At all families different welfare. Not all are able to afford phone of a latest model and the new computer. The child understands that he does not have what most of his peers has. It has a feeling called in psychology by “feeling of passive discontent“. It cannot be allowed. Long ago it is noticed that envious children lead others life and do not notice the progress and talents at all. Parents have to emphasize the best parties of the child always. It is necessary to explain to the child that he has abilities which others do not have, to urge it to look really at a situation and by that to stop feeling of envy.

The parental attention and care are capable to switch attention of the child from object of envy to other object in time. For this purpose it is necessary to watch constantly the kid and at once to come to the rescue if in his soul there was an internal conflict conducting to the deadlock.