You were offended. To revenge or forgive?
Are probable, some of you, having appeared as offended, tried to get it together, repeating: “I will not revenge it because it is unworthy the person. His life already will punish for that harm which it did me!“ Other people think absolutely differently in such situation: “He played a dirty trick on me, I to him for it so will salt that will not seem a little!“
What is revenge?
Revenge - very strong feeling which does not bring to people joy. Motivation of revenge are fight for justice, to reward the offender according to the deserts, to repay for deeds in kind. On the one hand, apparently, that this correct feeling and nothing bad is here, but with another when the person starts realization of “the generous impulse“, the following transformation begins to happen to its organism.
Everything begins with a strong attack of indignation which is similar to the internal explosion caused by unexpected and unfair events. The desire to revenge is followed by inflow of forces and energy, in the person devil fire is lit. His pride is touched. Someone unintentionally stepped “on a sick callosity“, without knowing that this person has a set of complexes and problems and is very vulnerable. He decides to revenge. He is not any more self-controlled because he is entirely in power of this feeling.
The revenge can be considered as a disease state which is in a fever all organism from a brain to finger-tips. It can capture the person like love and force to make strange acts for which he will bitterly regret then. In the person mechanisms of allocation of a huge number of a negative automatically turn on.
Perhaps, if he for a minute stopped, cooled down, then would understand that there is no need to revenge as the act of the offender does not cost such reaction from his party. But to make it very difficult.
of the Reason to sweep
For revenge of the sometimes rather mostly insignificant occasion. Everything depends on character of the person which pride is touched. Each of us faced in life offenses, jealousy, treachery. These are already more powerful reasons to begin to revenge. It is necessary to notice if the person lives in harmony with himself and with surrounding reality, then he will not take offense at any trifles which happen to all.
The revenge often goes hand in hand with envy. It is known that people sometimes make very base acts out of envy. They can have a desire to revenge because affairs at the colleague go much better, than at them, for example. So the diffident people subject to others influence behave.
In our society it is not accepted to speak about revenge. As a rule, people decide what to do in unpleasant situations: to revenge or forgive. Overcome
If someone offended you and it caused desire to revenge, then it is not necessary to be ashamed of this feeling. At you the natural mechanism of self-defense turned on. But if such desire arises for no apparent reason - it is already big red flag! In this case it is necessary to sustain fight most with itself not to commit follies.
Not to become the angry and vindictive person, it is necessary to learn to forgive and count consequences of reciprocal revenge. The revenge is a source of big emotional experiences for both parties, it does not make anybody happy.
Often at conflict emergence the revenge can seem the only solution. But it is worth thinking what can be changed by means of vengeance what will be advantage for you except that you have some satisfaction? It can turn out that after your vindictive attack the situation will even more be aggravated. Perhaps it is simpler to solve the conflict peaceful manner? Or just to ignore your offender?
Several useful tips
If all of you - decided to revenge the offender, then at first reflect as you will do it and as your vis-a-vis will react to revenge.
Council the first. Be a realist, estimate what offense was caused you. Do not try to play the dirty trick surpassing deeds by your opponent.
Council of the second - very important. If you do not want to spend the rest of your days in a prison cell, show respect for the criminal code of Russia!
Council the third. do not choose as the victim of the relatives. They do not deserve it.
Council the fourth. If caused you offense, it is not necessary to begin to revenge at once. Your “evil genius“ is ready to protection. Wait several days until he calms down, and then begin to act. Perhaps, for this timeout you will find more effective way to sweep.
Of what should think?
If vengeance came true, then at heart it becomes easier as all freight fell down from it at once. After that the person becomes softer and kind. Later he will want to forgive the offender. If the revenged person has gray substance, then he will understand for what he caught it “in the neck“ and will draw the corresponding conclusions.
Before beginning to revenge (or not to revenge), give for a minute we will stop and we will wonder: “I have to revenge it? What for? to make to it it is bad? That he felt pain? To show it on the example of revenge how it wounded my vanity?“
you are sure that it is necessary to begin this “game“? Think of how your attempt will look from outside “to establish the status - kvo“. Whether you will have feeling of a bitter regret if after your vengeance there is something awful?
And still, you remember the most important: only strong people can be indulgent and forgive the opponent, or ignore him as the personality. They never dare to fall to the level of the offenders and do not use doubtful ways to sweep.