How the collector of debts works? (Episode the fourth).
“Irresponsible“ - see: irresponsible; confused,
the Dictionary of synonyms
of the Relation - a thin thing therefore speak about chemistry of the relations. Quite often not only in personal, but also at business relations there is other discipline - physics when the relations get a positive or negative sign. And in this sense it is important who as watches at certain relations, as that is good for one, another can count to the contradicting interests.
Bank and client. Bank and debtor. Collector and debtor. Collection agency and debtor. Further only court and debtor. Though is not present, then on a scene the bailiff, with all that it implies from this performance consequences will appear. Consequences unfavourable.
Ya on a workplace. I explain all this to the debtor. I speak about importance of personal credit history, about possible debt restructuring, I offer phones of recruitment agencies, I designate dates of expected job fairs. I Offer
the help in creation of the schedule of payments, the help in development of the family budget, I tell about possible methods of economy for the subsequent payment on debts, about self-discipline in financial questions. In reply silence. Characteristic silence. Generally, the ordinary working day which is not differing from others same.
, I know everything. “Irresponsible“, irresponsible type, it is rather even a type. I ask what we will do? From the mass of his answers, it turns out: “Anything“. I know it, I am close familiar with it. We already as relatives. Only I one, and it not one, it - “they“, as brothers and sisters, and a name to them “legion“. Intonations at them identical, arguments at them under “carbon paper“, answers in an interrogative form, with categorical intonations.
you ask characteristic features of these brothers and sisters? They are simple: a) To blame other people for everything; b) To knock down all on circumstances; c) Never to take the responsibility for own actions.
“It not I. My word upon it. All this they, relatives, the staff of bank, friends on work. They
finished it: - “Take the credit, take “plastic“. I warned them, but unless they will listen?“ And so
further and so forth. We feel that the debtor aspiring intentionally or between times
to decline all responsibility, is often very intense and even panics. Thus, we
should deal also with its panic, and with aspiration to avoid responsibility and from
of the situation it is necessary to look for an exit.
Strategy of “irresponsibility“ (as it happens): Very often charges take place because it is difficult for person to take the responsibility for what he made, or to apologize for consequences of the act (took the credit and disappears or does not pay, what is even worse!) .
Perhaps, he takes the mistakes too very much to heart, seeing in it reflection of the identity (i.e. instead of stopping and telling: “I did wrong“, he automatically adds the word “… it proves what I am silly only again“). Perhaps, before he incurred a severe penalty for the mistakes and now is afraid of punishment? Perhaps, someone told it that only persons of no character apologize and take the responsibility. What there were reasons, charges are brought to automatism here.
C what person we would not deal, - first of all it is necessary to consolidate culture of capture of responsibility and to eliminate patterns of charges. I will give several tested and approved ways:
• I have to break a pattern of behavior “irresponsible“, having interrupted it if it is necessary. to stop a stream of “charges“ in any way.
• To concentrate on the future and on what has to occur.
• Try to think: “Let`s forget everything that was. What needs to be reached?“
Is possible, it is required to give to the debtor time to return to it with these questions later. When at us all are coordinated with it the purposes, it is possible to ask a question: how it is possible to reach them who will do it in what time, what resources and what help for this purpose it will be required?
Ya it has to be convinced: each “irresponsible“ thinks of what he needs to make in a different way, - it will be result of what he learned. It will be useful for someone to think to one. Someone will prefer to work with me in the dialogical mode. And maybe, it will be useful to combine both? I have to seek for synchronization of prosecution of our common goals, through realization of the purposes of each of us.
For my “vis-a-vis“ will become improbable opening the fact that if to take the responsibility, then all relation to a situation will change. Its hostile mood to the world will disappear and it in hands will have an instrument of changes: it is necessary to change not itself, and the behavior. And to help it with it the main and my paramount task as expert of the top skills, my professional duty of a collector.