Why Russian trainings on - it is American?Corporate trainings as an element of the western culture, were strongly included into practice of the Russian companies. As they get accustomed in our environment and how to liking they to the Russian person, we will reflect in this article.
“Dima, and you as will be called?“ - it is tender as at the child, “trainer“ asks our sales manager. “Anton“, - that quietly answers, being confused. And why it was called in honor of the guy? Yes be not frightened you, Dimochka, all is so known who you are actually.
And why Valentin Petrovich, the solid, full uncle with a beard, dressed a multi-colored shirt, how on the Thai beach, and now simply “trainer Valerik“? To me it is personally unclear. I as the former athlete, believed all life that the trainer is a man in trenik with a whistle. But our today`s is not going “to whistle“. And my language does not turn to call the person that is twice more senior than me, Valerik …
I Got a job in the American representation once. Now, according to the order of head office, regularly I increase “personal efficiency“ and I develop “the collective relations“ in a circle of the colleagues. Among them there is Zhenka, all relations with whom we developed one and a half years ago. But my Zhenya now absolutely another, now he is “Tramp“. Trainings as we were told, have to lift our collective spirit to impossibility.
Half an hour we sit with notebooks before an interactive board where Valerik draws and explains intricate schemes of relationship at our office. Interestingly, from where he knows everything, he does not work for us!
I do not listen. Was mistaken in the accounts department for one million rubles and the second week I cannot already find “loss“. The tramp does not listen too. Offered it the biennial contract in Paris, and in soul he is already Frenchman, slightly burdened by thought of whether to take me with itself, or to try ethnic cuisine. To Dima too not to drawings. Without having thought, was called Anton and will be upset till the evening now.
Then us break into couples. I get “Lady Hamilton“, our director. Well what of Bela Zabirovna “Hamilton“?
Valerik “drives“: “we Will assume , you have a book, Lady Hamilton. Your task - to convince the Hairpin (i.e. me) that the book is necessary to you. And you, the Hairpin, have to convince the interlocutor that the book is necessary to you. Now I will elect the judge who will solve which of you will win a victory in dispute “.
In life it is simpler and simpler. When the director wants to turn something doubtful, I do not give her the press. I do not give also everything, without verbal turns. But it turns green in other occasion now. Just so far she reflects on some virtual nonsense here, competitors take away at it from - under a nose the state contract for 60 million. And if we lose it, then, of course, we will challenge results in court, and then it needs the real judge.
As I was bothered by this clown Valerik and the circus which rose in kopek! Even if all American “trainers“ and their local followers will shower me with tomatoes, I am sure: nobody will apply anything here what they speak about, will derive benefit, will solve that problem which actually concerns him. Concerns at the moment time, in just a moment. Even if I will execute dance of the tribe a curbstone - a yumba and I will topple over through the head three times, one million will not be, the state contract will not be won and Dima will not become a hetero.
We are Russians. Performances not to change us. We as fantastic heroes to change, have to fall the head to the ground. Hit - and turned back a blue rock pigeon! the Director of two - three will turn out, an award will deprive of the others - productivity and will increase. Nobody will not begin to penetrate into psychology of the conflicts. As to the director “is violet“ whether we love each other. The main thing that work loves us. And we it and even less so. And further as in the song: “Here and nicely! Tram - Pham - Pham!“
I motivation at us other. “Pole-axes - the head“ is called. Works instantly. I will not find one million - tax vividly motivates me. And Hamilton will add.
Also we relax differently, without meditations and psychotherapeutic sessions. Knows the whole world as . We do not need to glue green wall-paper with yellow golubochka. And aquariums with small fishes to rearrange on corners too.
Our stress medicine in the bar on a separate shelf is exposed. Everything, than we were once treated. And we were treated by a lot of things. Perhaps, except that red liquid that with a cobra inside. We do not touch it, its “boimsa“. Here the Tramp is not afraid. He hands caught these cobras and with nails ate, being in practice in the Middle East. And Valerik to it how to overcome fears, tells...
The Russian collective is not some liquid substance. And here Americans missed something. We in life should not miss. We have seven Fridays during a week and every Monday on Saturday begins. Perhaps, be life more measured, quiet here, we who turned into fat pofigistichny cats, and would be need such trainings - shake-ups . For now …
For now business takes a serious turn.
“ Friends, we will get up in a circle now, we will undertake shoulders and we pokruuuzhitsya “, - Valerik, wet from sweat sings. And though perfectly I understand what him will throw up soon, mean nerves hand over.
I apologize in two languages and I run out for a door. Let they develop without me. And I will go to tax, I will hand over the report. I will stand in turn.
... I returned for work late. Nobody was any more. Only Valentin Petrovich tortured by the idiotic work, sitting on half of our bar, drinks “snake“. Guessed - where actually collective spirit hides! Not for nothing Zhenka beside him lies and in this question advises him.