What prevents to build the harmonious relations? Delusions and unavailability to change
If you do not like your life, it needs to be changed. But improvements are possible only through overcoming of. And an inevitable stage in they are to recognize the mistakes and imperfections.
To realize the internal problems, courage and readiness to look to the truth in eyes is necessary. It is known that the person perceives the truth, only when wants to make it, and in any way not differently. With open eyes everyone will accept truth about itself(himself) with gratitude. In other cases mind will persistently bend the line: to find a heap of arguments and arguments in advantage “it not about me“. It is impossible to break through this barrier.
The individual ripens independently, without someone`s help. Some lack the whole life. All have an option: not to want, not to ripen, not to realize, not to change.
Delusions are one of mind “justifications“ against work on. And these arguments are perceived as the only truth (and only internal feelings can prompt that truth in another). But actually arguments of mind are delusions . And we consider them weighty, convincing only because we do not know, we do not represent how everything happens actually...
Reasonings can be an example of such delusions: “Why to change and do itself independent, then the man will not be necessary! Why, for example, I need the man if I calm myself, will be to myself support and a support? Why to me the man if to me it is quiet and good also with by itself, and nobody will be necessary any more?“ In other words, if I am capable to give to myself everything and for itself to make everything, and to me it will be good with by itself, then why then the loved one?
Of course, with such reasonings it is possible to come to an unambiguous conclusion: “Any I do not want changes! In this situation nobody will be necessary to me“. And it is clear - the woman, for example, wants a family, the relations. And nobody will understand provocative assumptions of the above reasonings. It turns out what the man is necessary in order that (we paraphrase questions) “to make you dependent that to calm you to be to you support and a support that to you it was good?“ The answer - “yes“, and it is right for all sozavisimy people.
However the opinion of psychologists is as follows: than less man needs the woman, and the woman needs the man, especially the relations, harmonious and adequate at them. In the distorted understanding it can mean “The less the man is necessary to me, the better at me with it the relations“? It not absolutely so.
Any person is in bad mood, will not argue with it. It is also right that each of us needs personal time and space. Sometimes for debugging of a state of mind it is necessary to stay some time “in himself“. If the partner understands it, many reasons for quarrels disappear!
When the man (woman) is able to solve the problems independently, is capable to create to himself a peace of mind, he (she) will constantly not demand it from the partner.
And then will be able quietly to transfer its temporary absence - emotional and physical - or something to give the seeming rejection, or inability. In this case human relations will be rather harmonious and understanding.
In such love everyone has the right to be oneself, and nobody needs to do constantly effort that to prove something.