Whether the adopted child should change a name?
the Name of the person are the main word of his life and as Dale Carnegie wrote, “the most sweet and the most important for it a sound in any language“. According to the sound theory, we hear the name as a habitual set of sounds of a certain height and frequency which is the irritant bringing different structures of a brain into excitement for a brain.
The child even in dorechevy development repeatedly hears the name in the form of a familiar set of sounds and responds on it a certain excitement of brain structures. And a name - this habitual important set of sounds which is given to the child since the birth - remains usually with it forever . And if, as the fates decree, the person has to change the name, then all the same memory of a brain accompanies the first true name with habitual excitement and some emotional response. Even the people who lost memory are not indifferent to sounds of the name.
When the adult for any of several reasons consciously changes the name, usually change of a name happens without any problems if it occurs of own will. However if the name of the child changes after adoption (adoption) by new parents, then for the child it can become very difficult psychological trauma for the rest of life.
If the child is adopted, adopted or taken in guardianship at chest age, and even right after the birth, then problems with the changed name usually does not arise. And here change of a name usually, judging by experience with such children, completely does not take place in a case when the child gets to a family in 2 - 5 years. Adopted children and so have many problems from - for losses or partings to parents, from - for accommodation in the unsuccessful, drinking families, in orphanages. And if still to the child who appeared in a new family suggest to forget the native name which is inseparably linked with his egoism, from it “I“, with everything that he remembers and knows in the life, then it, in addition to all other problems, can become the present tragedy.
What pushes newly appeared parents to change a name of the child after adoption, adoptions, guardianship registrations? The reasons happen the most different. Most often, it is desire of parents that the child together with a name forgot the past. It seems to them that with a new name he adapts in a new family easier. Sometimes change a name if it is connected with any unpleasant person or an event in a family. Happens that choose a new name in honor of relatives and relatives or just consider important to present to the child the favourite name.
And what the child for whom his name is integral from his body, from it “I“? Having found a new name, children often as if lose themselves a little, become derelicts among peers because continue to feel Vasyami, Nastyami, but not Konstantinami, Violettami.
For example, the girl from very safe family where does not know in anything refusal, admits that she hates the name Anjelica because she feels like Katya. Paradoxically, but it turns out that all bad at it is connected with a new name though when was Katya and lived with the drinking parents, it starved, there was a bat, stole. The girl felt guilty that it remains the same bad Katya. And at school she became the derelict because hesitated of the new name, was afraid that all will guess that it Rolling that was homeless, collected bottles, was a dirty creature. To please schoolmates, she takes their blame, suffers their sneers and abusive words in the address. Mother complains that Katya - Anjelica is very dependent on girlfriends, is afraid of them, is not sincere, constantly lies...
As for children who are accepted on education by foreigners, practically always they receive new names. Even having remained with the native names, they hear them in other, unusual sounding which is perceived by a brain absolutely others, unusual. For example, Mischa and Mike, Nick and Kolya, Pasha and Paul are a combination of different sounds, so and reaction of certain structures of a brain to them different. And the second, “nonnative“, the name is not perceived by them as the as a native sound code. At first sight, it is, apparently, trifles. However they can be that drop which can provoke failure of mental mechanisms from - for impossibility of decoding by a brain of a unique sound code.
On my memory there was no adopted, adopted or adopted child which would have no set of the problems connected with the increased uneasiness, fears, uncertainty, aggression, sensitivity, excessive vulnerability or tendency to affective flashes. Such children who endured a number of heavy psychoinjuries about the short century always need psychological assistance, psychotherapy.
And among them it is important to distinguish those to whom changed a name especially to work this problem. If it remains unnoticed, then the psychotherapy of all other problems of the child can be unsuccessful because without acceptance of the name is impossible full acceptance of . And it is one of conditions of psychological wellbeing.