It is difficult to understand adult children? Exact answer to an eternal question!
Dear parents having adult children will be a question of you today! Even, probably, to all parents it will be useful for
. Today your little son or the daughter go to a garden, and tomorrow turn into adults …
most of parents has a certain complex or delusion that as if their children something have to them. They believe that than better they raised the children, and than more they gave them, the they will be able to use big preferences at advanced age. There is a wish to tell at once that concept “has to“ from the relations children - parents, it is better to clean in general. I personally consider that here logic very simple. Reflect, it you gave birth to the child and it is exclusive your decision. Agree, silly to demand something from the child, proceeding from such simple reasonings?!
All people different. Also be - that my logic, or your view of this problem, there will be people who all the same will think differently. Let`s remember the friends and acquaintances. Let`s take a detached view of a problem. Let`s take, for example, my familiar pensioners. They have two adult children, my age-mates. I did not see such exclusively kind and caring attitude to parents as at them at all. But that you thought? Old men constantly are dissatisfied with something, and speak about all this. They consider that they are seldom visited, consider that they support them a little though all is twisted a finger at a temple around, listening to eternally offended pensioners. Talk of puzzled children is quite clear. My friend and told me: “If the attitude towards us not to change, I in general will stop communication and the help“ Agree with them, it is possible to understand it.
We will take a little other generalized character. There is absolutely other type of parents who on the contrary, speak about a surplus of the help and attention. You for certain know a heap of such examples. These people, even needing the help, to the last will refuse it. And even on the contrary, in every way, by incredible ekonomiya on themselves, help children to the last. I will not look for the philosophical reasons of such behavior, but personally I consider that it is the most natural relations between parents and children. And the big rarity, at such parental behavior model of parents to have misunderstanding with children subsequently.
Happens so, and we cannot but tell about it that some parents drop out of life of the children that is called entirely. Often it is connected with the fact that they I feel guilty of parents for the misses in life. In it there is the truth. And a conclusion in it cases one: many parents do not understand or misunderstand one simple thing, - even saving on themselves, even supporting immensely, the elementary attention, respect and just usual love could not be enough for children, and it is much more important, than all the rest. There is a lot of excellent literature, there is an opinion of good psychologists, but even life forces to understand all parents that their children have to nothing to them and that they have no right to dispose and concerns to children as to things. The help, its look and the size, children have to choose.
P. S. Dear parents, and their children, same future parents! All of us have to understand a huge role in education of our children. Throughout all life, any person, makes decisions, relying first of all, on experience of the relations with parents. It is clear now why at many people everything turns out effortlessly, and causes difficulties in others. It is very difficult to change the relation to the adult, to the parents. But it is necessary to try. Sometimes, it is a key to correction of many life situations. Look on parents a little differently. Yes, they could not respect you and, they could nedolyubit you, but hardly they did it purposely. There was much and good, a truth? I sincerely believe that at big desire, the adult, the actions and the attitude towards own children, can point to mistakes of the parents and make the relations such with what you would like to see them. You remember, there is no universal method of education of children. It is possible to be mistaken in this process as much as necessary, and it is your experience and your mistakes. But also you should not forget that the parental love and respect are equally valuable to each child, and it in many respects defines the attitude of children towards you further.