Domestic violence: whether the woman has to suffer?
About domestic violence over the woman are written much, but this subject remains open, despite “civilization“ of modern society. Many injured women continue to hide the true situation in the families worldwide, and only when business reaches medical intervention, some them them admit that they suffer violence.
It is remarkable that only doctors also can provide such statistics on Russia. The police (in the recent past militia) does not register cases of domestic violence.
Four types of domestic violence differ. The physical abuse implies a beating and attempts to strike the victim, an obstacle or restriction of movement, an insult, threat, narochny causing pain. The sexual violence assumes as directly rape, and coercion to the introduction in the sexual relations, coercion to an exposure, and also - painful jealousy and charge of intimacies.
The emotional violence is expressed through constant criticism, a sneer at beliefs of the victim, manipulation with feelings, public humiliation, refusal to appear in couple in public places, control over phone (letters), ignoring of manifestations of feelings. The economic violence is expressed that only one person from a married couple makes the decision how to use the family budget and deprives of another an opportunity to dispose of the general money.
To change already the situation of things is difficult, painful, but - it is possible. And at the same time only the woman can change the life. What there was pressure of the house tyrant, public opinion, arrangements of relatives and admonition of priests - there are always women who passed through domestic violence and not persons interested with it to be reconciled. To that history Nudzhud Ali from Yemen which achieved divorce because of domestic violence can serve one of striking examples.
Its case is unique: she became one of the few women who got a divorce in Muslim Yemen and became the first divorced woman aged till fifteen years (the age of marriage which is officially resolved for women).
Actually nobody definitely knows how many years Nudzhud, in the Yemen villages do not make out the birth certificate of daughters. Even her mother who was giving birth sixteen times could not call year of birth of the third daughter. Only the fact that at the time of divorce Nudzhud Ali there were more than eight, but less than eleven years is known.
She was married without its consent to the man who was at the time of a marriage thirty years old. Next day after a wedding Nudzhud moved to the house of the spouse. Her life absolutely changed: the husband was against she went to school, and Nudzhud ceased to attend classes; the mother-in-law and other relatives of the husband gave it part of household chores, and she began to work on an equal basis with adult women. In addition, Nudzhud it was repeatedly raped by the husband, and at resistance suffered a beating.
In two months after a wedding newlyweds came to see relatives Nudzhud. She told the father and mother about the distress and asked for them the help. The father who received good bridewealth for the daughter reminded her of traditions and of honor of a family, mother suggested to suffer. Without knowing what to do is farther, Nudzhud decided to consult to the second wife of the father, and that told that she heard from someone, as if people for permission of difficult questions address judges.
In several days Nudzhud sent to shop behind bread, but instead took a taxi and went to court. Nudzhud was succeeded to achieve reception from the judge Abdo who appointed by her the lawyer - Shaada Nasser. The judge Abdel Vakhed provided it the room in the house where she also lived in process expectation. However none of the judges sympathizing it promised that her lawyer will carry this case.
Nevertheless, divorce took place. But, besides official divorce, Nudzhud Ali had to pay to the former spouse the sum equal to 200 dollars to cover the “moral damage“ caused to the man. Placed this money for it the lawyer Shaada Nasser. Nudzhud could return to the family, again go to school, play with peers and not suffer violation of the ex-husband any more.
Nudzhud Ali together with the lawyer Shaada Nasser got the award “The Woman of Year - 2008“. This award is handed to women who made the acts which are causing respect and became an example for others.
History Nudzhud, according to her stories, was written down by the journalist Delphine Minoui. The book received the name: “I am ten years old, and I am divorced“. Perhaps, this sad example will force adults, often the educated women suffering domestic violence to reflect whether they need to continue to build the family relations by someone else`s rules.