What means “to learn to love“?
Usually can be spoken about love in romantically - poetical style, and any translation of so high feeling into language of humdrum of life is perceived nearly as violation of the Saint. And still as the “honored romantic“ who devoted to this feeling there are a lot of enthusiastic lines, this time I will dare to say about what in our culture it is accepted to call love, without choosing expressions …
The matter is that in society in which the majority of us happened to be born and grow up, there was, in my opinion, a catastrophic substitution of concepts. And me as in the famous fairy tale of Andersen, there is a wish to shout: “The king - that naked!“
If attentively to begin to listen and read as as they speak around us about love, then is drawn the picture very similar to a children`s illness under the name “enuresis“: that is it when at the beginning is pleasant and warm, and then is wet and is cold. Why does that happen? Let`s understand …
Love and suffering; love and hatred; the unrequited love passing into unfortunate; the love passing into the market relations - forms different, and an essence one - total consumer thinking. That is the “favourite“ person becomes means of the satisfaction of requirements “loving“. And, respectively, at whom what requirements dominate, such “means“ also are necessary to that: it is necessary to someone more sexually (growth, a form, “eyes“, a bottom - here to taste) that satisfied physically; to someone is richer that satisfied financially, to someone “with humour“ that entertained; to someone strong that protected, etc.
generally, consumer society gives rise to such type of the relations in which darling / darling is considered as means of satisfaction and service of the requirements (the truth, readily to discuss barter conditions). In my opinion, to speak in such situation about love, it is necessary to have big sense of humour … try to look
as a result of the woman so that the tax of is more expensive, and men to earn - to be solvent (sometimes on the contrary). Well and, naturally, both those, and others to mechtayutimet a beautiful body “without dandruff, caries and wrinkles“ (it is good if for itself, but everything is more often - for creation of effective packing and design of goods for the purpose of an advance in price and solvency in the marriage market).
In the light of understanding of an essence of consumer thinking there is clear a huge number of stains without still yesterday - the people who are cleverly “loving“ each other. (“When chose / chose, the goods - that it seems corresponded to technical and other characteristics, and in the course of real life whether quality of goods pumped up, whether service of producers was too persuasive, whether broke unexpectedly, whether the design became outdated, or perhaps just there was a wish for updating in life - generally, it is easier to buy new, than to repair this“.)
If to ask newlyweds near the REGISTRY OFFICE: “Why you marry?“ - the majority with ease will answer: “Because we love each other!“ And here if to ask a question: “Why, for what you marry?“ - after some confusion (“That means what for? There is a wish, and all!“) it is possible to hear something in style: “Always to be together!“, “Because I want to be all life with this person!“, etc.
In translation from “consumer“ language it sounds as: “As to me it is good from this person, I want that to me it was good as long as possible!“ Where here love to the elect? Here it is rather a love to itself, aspiration to make to itself it is good …
By the way, it is no wonder in this regard that the strongest and independent representatives of both floors of the marriage market, have a logical question: “And why to me the relations in which someone will use me?“ And then: “Why to me a family in which this use will turn from a wish into the requirement?“
K to what I all this? Why I so in detail described a consumer essence of love in our society? To offer you something opposite: Lyubov Sozidatelnuyu!
When the man and the woman seek to be together not so much “Because “love“ how many “To learn to love“! To learn to build and construct the harmonious relations at least with one only thing the person the world.
And now I offer you two small tasks:
1. Write what you want to see the darling / favourite? What qualities for you are priority? Re-read … As you think what it is related more to: to love to the real person or to satisfaction of your personal needs by means of its use?
2. Reflect: how family life would change if in our society people married and married “to learn to love“? As if they sorted out the relations? As if they treated shortcomings and weaknesses of each other? As if raised the children? As if solved any household difficulties?