To love or not? Whether there is a choice and as it to make
the Most important factor at creation of the relations with other person is the choice. What does the choice mean? Choice of what? You can tell: “I already have relations! I already made the choice! It does not concern to me!“ Belongs.
The choice is the choice of feelings, emotions which you want to see in the relations. And, if you already have relations, is what in them, perhaps, for the present is not present.
The relations pass through many stages. The relations, as well as all life, are the movement too. It too development. It is possible to call the first stage “Now that`s something like it! I want to get acquainted with you! We are simply created for each other. Why we did not meet earlier?“. Further there is a stage at which you begin to recognize each other more deeply, and the set of questions appears. Up to “What I do near you?“. And if at this stage you understand that you have absolutely identical purposes, absolutely identical values and the principles, in the relations, strangely enough, the end is put. You have nothing to give each other.
You have to choose the correct person with whom you will supplement each other. To choose the one who will give you more than you expect. In it the main objective also consists. You need to gather a team. It as in soccer. Someone well catches balls, and someone quickly runs across the field. The relations is a couple. And couple is a team. And to form team which will win you need to make this team of the people suiting one another. You do not need the fastest, the most dexterous is not necessary. The one who will work well together with the partner is necessary. The one who will suit you.
It is fair also in other areas of life. When you discharge someone from office, you do not dismiss him for the fact that it bad or incompetent. You dismiss for the fact that he did not work well together in your team. It meets your expectations, but it is not suitable for your work. And before making a final choice, be convinced that:
1. Your own purposes coincide with the internal purposes of your partner. If is not present, then these relations will be self-deception. Sooner or later there will be a reason for which everything will end. Eventually will win against the internal purposes, internal aspiration. Some people remain in same the relations eternally. They live together 20, 30, 40 and more years. They meet and leave, throw and start everything over again in hope that this time everything will be in a different way. But to continue to do the same and at the same time to hope for other results - one of the most popular beliefs in the human relations. Such relations turn into friendship. Such people have no confidential relations. They have no close relations. There is such “good friendship“.
2. Your expectations correspond to essence of your partner. Whether support your aspirations the internal nature of your partner? If the person from the birth has tendency to communication with other people, and you want that he saw off near you all the time what will occur then? In principle it will be able to go to it. But every time when it occurs, in it will arise an internal contradiction. As a result first he with pleasure will stay at home, and then will be go all out, if only to crash out quicker. Finally these contradictions, this fight will exhaust either him, or your relations.
Each relations at the very beginning of the development are filled with feelings, interest, enthusiasm, inspiration and energy. But there passes some time, and one of you speaks: “Listen, and you, are, at all not such what I knew you when we got acquainted“. You spend time together, but each of you moves in the direction.
And sooner or later if one of these two conditions is not met, the person or destroys these relations, or begins to look for missing emotions and feelings somewhere still. On the party. And if at your partner the subconscious vital program cardinally differs from yours - from this nothing long-term will leave.
You will force each other, to try to change each other, and the more time will pass - the more intensively. There will come day when this bubble of the relations bursts, you will burn, and everything will be finished.