Love. From where in it there is so much fear?
Everyone who wants to construct the successful relations, are afraid of two things.
1. At me it will not turn out.
2. Will not fall in love with me mutually.
Each person in the head has the “history according to which it can occur“. All have at us the life experience. And the reason of it that all of us are unique. This fear from the childhood. If the kid is not loved and do not care for him since the childhood - he will die. He just will not survive in this severe world. The love is necessary for a survival. In it both advantages, and shortcomings of the person.
In a kingdom of animals of a dragon which hatched from egg right there becomes absolutely independent individual. The turtle who was born on the land has to crawl to the sea.
For the person the love is an instinct. It is an integral part of life. Without it we die. Therefore it is so important.
Pay attention that mother always, always loves the child if he is biologically healthy. In an organism of women there is a special hormone which is responsible for it. And for mother her child is the most attractive that can be, from all living beings. If he shouts at night, he is native. If he does not obey, he is all the same the most favourite. And this feeling is based only on the fact that this child is. When you are 2-3 years old, it is worth giving a sound as all begin to run, care and preserve around.
If in a family there is a divorce, in most cases the child remains with mother because the father has no such hormone. There is no this feeling of contact, this communication line is absent. And you will never hear as jammed heart at the father when the son sprained a leg, skiing for 5000 km. Such stories tell only about women. And this communication not just biological or biochemical. It includes an emotional and psychological component. And if women do not feel this communication - they leave.
And that the most interesting, this hormone influences also the attitude towards men. It plays a role at acceptance or rejection. It as system “the - the stranger“ on fighters. It is part of an instinct of a survival. And it can be used. To do not just good or bad things, and to help your darling to reveal itself, to learn to cause trust, to allow to let in itself a comfort zone, to let in itself a safety zone. By the way, “kazanova“ successfully use it.
We live in the world where everything is interconnected. Because we know that if do not care for us if we are not loved - we will not survive! Here from where this fear. People who do not understand it become reserved. When nobody loves them - they begin to love themselves.
Most of people, suffering fear, try “to jump out“ of these feelings and often of these relations. They seek to hurt darling. It seems to them that if it is more painful to the partner, it will help to avoid him fear. If they do not do it, then keep time fear in themselves. Also go to a depression. It seems to them that life on it comes to an end. They in panic try “will switch“ to work, to find some hobby. Or undertake a bottle.
Both of these scenarios caused by fear destroy both the relations, and the person.