How it is correct to behave with the home manipulator and the blackmailer?
the episode from the childhood when being a whimsical child is familiar to Much of us, we tried to achieve from our parents, or just familiar adults, a new toy or tasty candy by means of a banal children`s hysterics, stamping by legs and such children`s and naive blackmail.
We grew up. Also methods of achievement of the objectives exchanged. Strong personalities, as a rule, directly make the demands. Weak - continue to play blackmailers and manipulators. Choosing for achievement of the purposes to Liouba methods - banal hysterics, games in silence, simulations of a serious illness, ukhoda in hard drinkings and hellbenders. The negative actions manipulators push us to acts and decisions, so necessary for them. As to be? As manipulators people, but the family can sometimes act not others to us at all. Parents, children, husbands, wives. Those whom it is impossible just to wave away and leave. How to be if you fell a victim of game in manipulation? To follow the tastes? To ignore all requirements? Or as … For a start let`s realize
that any manipulation or blackmail aims also the requirements. Of course, if your favourite manipulator does not adhere to the principle art for the sake of art, to tell more true - manipulation for the sake of manipulation. So, there is a purpose, and there are requirements. And it can be quite reasonable and adequate they? Then, perhaps, we should reconsider the positions and to change a line of conduct. Then the situation will come to the end hepp with Indus. There are no manipulations, there is no blackmail and all parties are happy.
If options from a heppa Indus did not turn out, possibly, the parties should talk over openly at a negotiating table and to find the compromise solution capable to leave the happy both parties of manipulation. As they say, the patched-up peace, than kind war is better.
If revision of private judgments and a compromise in a situation is not possible, and the manipulator continues to play a “bad“ role, here several simple recommendations which will help not to break with a difficult life situation and to defend the positions and vital beliefs. When leaving from a situation in which you are given up the person close to you who assumed a manipulator role is not possible, the situation should just be worried.
Do not accuse yourself of negative results of behavior manipulating the parties. In his fictional diseases, hysterics, boycotts, hard drinkings and hellbenders. The manipulator will surely try to shift fault for the taking place events to your shoulders. Do not allow it to make it. You are absolutely not guilty of anything. Sense of guilt - the excellent lever of manipulation and whom, as not the manipulator, not to try to involve it.
Give to the manipulator the chance to enjoy the game, at the same time, without taking in it part. Do not try to stop it, to overpersuade, get to talking, to cure. The more efforts you will make for “settling“ a situation, the more manipulator will begin to enjoy game. Any actions cause counteraction. There will be no actions, and only your dispassionateness from a situation, the observer`s position (though not always it happens easily), quicker the manipulator will exhaust with that. Its actor`s game is the cornerstone of manipulation and what for theater without viewer?
After sooner or later, but it surely occurs - the manipulator will calm down and will leave the image offended and the patient, do not reproach him for his acts and behavior. In - the first - he all the same will understand nothing, and in - the second - you can smoothly provoke and bring him to the next, following manipulation.
Simply, draw conclusions. Good luck to you on vital fronts, in communication with our favourite manipulators. And patience … Great patience …