What it is necessary to know about changes of the husband?
Unfortunately, not all marriages are ideal. And even in the most ideal marriages there can be black strips. For example, changes...
Happens, there are problems in the relations between spouses: crisis of middle age, a problem at work, problems with children, with a living space and so on - all this can cause negative emotions, and marriage enters a critical stage. At such moment also changes as compensation of a negative of the house or at work are possible. Also there is a question: what to do to the woman to whom the husband changes?
First of all it is necessary to be defined: whether there is a desire to keep marriage? Whether there was a love? Whether the woman considers that it is necessary to fight for family happiness? Would she like to fight for happiness with this specific person?
If is not present, then the issue is resolved very simply: to the husband appears that all is known of his changes, and it is offered to go there where to him it is good, time of the house does not suit him any more. As a result the suitcase is usually packed, and marriage comes to an end with divorce. Sometimes very unpleasant.
But if it is desirable to keep marriage, moreover, if there is a wish not just to keep marriage but also to regain the left happiness, the trust and love, then it is necessary to work. Or, as in “The white sun of the desert“: “At once to kill you or you prefer to suffer? - I would prefer to suffer …“. And so, it is necessary to suffer.
So that in that case (at desire to keep marriage) it is necessary to know about changes of the husband? The answer is at first sight paradoxical: in total and anything.
All is because it is necessary to know: what specifically it is necessary to fight against? These are regular “campaigns on the left“ for satisfaction of physiological requirements or desire to find the world and rest which lack in a family, or even love?
Nothing - because the woman who “officially“ knows about changes of the husband is simply obliged to react to this situation somehow. Will push all to reaction: friends, acquaintances, relatives, even the husband. If does not follow the expected negative reaction, then it will be apprehended as approval of actions of the husband. What is not healthy at all. Well and then, the woman of change of the husband respecting herself will not suffer. At least, if she knows about them. Therefore it is better to know nothing officially. Here such - it is blind - deafly - mute from the birth. In an emphasis sees nothing and does not understand.
It is very difficult - not to know. There are always well-wishers who report about misfortune. And - in all details. But, of course, it is possible not to listen to them. But it is very heavy to know and pretend that absolutely nothing occurred that everything is all right that still close-knit family, love … It is very heavy not to break when the husband late comes home - and it is obvious not from work! - and not to state it everything that is thought about it.
But for preservation of marriage there is nothing more harmful, than similar “blamestorming session“. It means that the man is presented with a choice: “Either I, or she! Solve!“. And here trouble: it is unknown in whose advantage there will be a decision. Sometimes, that the man who at all also did not think to leave a family, as a result of such explanations packs a suitcase. Especially as, as a rule, business does not come to an end with one explanation. Constant suspicions, inquiries, nearly shadowing begin (at least, check of all movements by means of calls to the husband, friends and so on). It is difficult to live in such atmosphere. Especially as other woman who does not row, does not sort out the relations somewhere waits, does not shout that gave the best years, and simply - is always glad to see, looks good, is fashionably dressed and is not shown with a terrible cosmetic mask on a face.
Optimum if it is possible to turn a situation. Usually everything develops thus: houses - it is bad, uncomfortable, scandals, problems and other troubles, “on the left“ - continuous pleasures in life. And if on the contrary? If houses - everything is remarkable, any scandals, at the wife migraine as soon as the speech comes about sex, any cosmetic masks, old dressing gowns and the crushed slippers any “Does not begin all have husbands as husbands, and to me got …“. How you think, very much it will want to have a bit on the side?
But in order that “revolution“ worked, it is necessary “to know nothing“ about change. Otherwise any effect.
Besides, official ignorance has one more plus: at the man the fault complex is developed. It has such remarkable wife, she so trusts it, creates a family cosiness and heat, and it … Such complex of fault is capable to impair a little the “left“ relations fairly.
Well and of course, lack of “blamestorming sessions“ and a showdown lets the man time think and to understand the feelings and desires. He should not make decisions in extreme conditions and under pressure of circumstances. He can soberly weigh and estimate everything: and where it is actually better for it?
On the party of the wife here and the former love (once it was and, by the way, never leaves finally!) both children, and the settled family life, and homeliness, and small habits which it is difficult to refuse and which create heat in the relations. The main thing - not to spoil all pluses knowledge of change, not to break, not to turn the warm family center into an active volcano which is capable to bury all under a layer of ashes and a lava. Not to force to choose between family scandals and the “left“ cosiness.
Companion Sukhov not for nothing considered that it is better - to suffer. So far the person is living, the hope for correction of a situation remains. Also and marriage. While he is living, there is always a hope, that the situation will be corrected, that family happiness will return - if to make all possible efforts for it if properly to try.
So if suddenly you learn that the husband changes you, do not hurry with explanations. Think: and it is necessary to you - the nobility? Perhaps it is better to think of another: how to return the escaping love and family happiness? Especially as, as a rule, there are no hopeless situations.