Whether the civil marriage is necessary? In support of free love of
Let`s understand terminology at first. Earlier, in imperial Russia, marriages consisted only in church, were followed by the corresponding ceremonies - wedding, blessing, oaths, triple round around an analogion - I will not paint in detail all ceremony especially as I do not know it.
After revolution when the church was outlawed, and people wanted to marry still, began to register marriage according to the Soviet legislation in public authorities (registry office). Such marriage began to call civil.
Now the concept “civil marriage“ means only that young people live together, conduct joint economy without notice of church and bodies the REGISTRY OFFICE. Officially it is called “cohabitation“. Therefore, strictly speaking, it would be necessary to call article so: “Cohabitation. I - for!“. Not really - that sounds, the truth? Therefore I will formulate the position so: I - for cohabitation of young people to an official marriage. I - for that to a wedding which, as a rule, lays down on shoulders of parents and costs them kopek fallen in love each other not less than a year lived side by side, conducted joint economy, had the general budget and vital space.
Of course, cohabitation, cohabitation or, so and to be, a civil marriage - amusing piece. The old joke about the fact that it after population census of married women appears much more, than married men is familiar to all. All this they, girls who were not brought together in a registry office yet is proud call the cohabitant “Husband“. For the man, not a secret, cohabitation - a good trick to get all advantages of the married person: regular food and sex, the pure apartment and clothes, without acquiring additional the obligation under the section of in common acquired property in case of parting. As a rule, these men use the phrase: “I so love you, we together live why to you this trifle, some stamp in the passport?“ If the stamp was a trifle, men so would not resist.
I against cohabitation when in a family the child has to appear. Because I do not know any senior child who would not compare date of the birth and date of a wedding of the father and mother, checking: whether “on a zaleta“ his parents got married? I against the cohabitation which is not registered in a registry office when couple lives together decades acquire property, and as a result of accident the second half does not receive anything because it legally is nobody to the darling.
But there is time when the civil marriage (cohabitation) is necessary, and I support him by two hands. When? At a stage of formation of young couple. The ancient saying says: “9 months are necessary to take out and give birth to the child. But before not less than 9 months on that the relations between parents of this child ripened and were born are necessary“. I will agree with this term. Really, the set of the married couples and lonely people interrogated by me confirmed criticality of this term of the relations: 9 months. Many couples broke up after this boundary, many, having endured the period of grindings in, scandals, quarrels, mutual reproaches and a showdown, could agree about all (or practically about all) critical moments and happily continued joint life, but having already celebrated an official wedding in due form.
My parents were familiar one month to a wedding. To live together at them it did not turn out - the room in the hostel was given only to family. In a month after a wedding mother understood that she hurried with marriage, in two months in the father she was irritated literally by everything. In half a year mother realized that she does not love the husband. But by then till my birth there were four months so mother had no wide choice. Further - it is more, and by the time of divorce (I by that moment was 11 years old, to my younger brother - 5) parents hated each other fiercely. Probably, if they had an opportunity and internal freedom to live together, they would leave without problems and mutual offenses much earlier, without tormenting each other and themselves. Probably, then I would not be born, but it would be another story altogether.
Therefore I - for a civil marriage. Some features of the personality can be estimated, having only closely communicated to the person a long time, not without reason speak: “You do not know the person if did not see him drunk, in anger and in the mountain“. It is unlikely for a month of acquaintance your elect will show you all this scale of feelings and experiences. If is in time - I would think of psychological stability of the partner.
Cleanliness of the partner cannot but please, but when the cohabitant forces you to wash up ware - it is a high time to be delighted that you did not get married yet. The accurate relation to things is worthy admiration, but when you begin to be told off for the fact that you clap a door it the refrigerator, will come it is time to reflect whether it is necessary to you this is the person, with age it will become better not. To a wedding to know about other bad habits of future husband also better as that: to make out all acquired property on mother, to let loose hands, to abuse alcohol, to represent from itself Don Juan and to save each kopek. Believe - it is unrecoverable.
Time which you live together before a wedding is possible and it is necessary to use not only for studying of the partner, but also to know his parents, a family in which he grew up better. Perhaps, it is necessary to pack things and to run at this stage. For example, an occasion to prick up the ears will be if you learn that parents of the husband are teachers in the fifth generation, and since the childhood once and for all taught to obey him implicitly mummy: “wives there can be much, and mother - forever“. (Actually, so was in a family of my parents, only my mother was deeply pregnant and married when she learned about this rule.) Or, God forbid, someone from parents of the husband has the descended disease. Do not laugh for anybody not a secret that heredity plays a role in developing of such diseases as schizophrenia, cancer, diabetes. Love - love, but why to risk health of future children?
So live in a civil marriage, use its opportunities to the full extent and do not forget about contraception.