What the jealousy at adults depends on?
the Heavy burden for the jealous man happen even thought that darling is able to afford to look with interest at other men and women, to move freely, to happen somewhere and to communicate with someone... Torments, torments, suspicions instead of happiness. Why? What the jealousy at adults depends on?
the Growing and jealousyto Many parents is familiar to
feeling of surprise, helplessness or indignation when they suddenly find out that their senior child does not share pleasure concerning emergence in the house of the younger family member. It is difficult for children`s consciousness to reconcile to need to share parental love with someone else. The jealousy of parents in certain cases accepts the catastrophic sizes. In the course of the child`s growing at skillfully constructed education strategy this children`s jealousy gradually begins to decline, and the friendly relations between children win against the competition.
Rather sharply torment of jealousy can be endured also by at teenage age when girls, for example, scoff or with ecstasy spin intrigues against each other, and boys machinate to the age-mates or silently suffer, without deciding to approach the passion and observing good luck of the rival.
Here one of examples: “It is pleasant to me to pass by the handsome guy, and he to me looney blinks, and my Max looks at all this and says that it is not pleasant to it. He is jealous and its hands begin to shiver“. Or: “I am just killed by these his infinite silly questions “why he writes you? what do you do in a class, around you guys constantly spin?“
At crisis age of 13-16 years the teenager, especially the boy, often feels like an ugly duckling, an inconsistent, unattractive and defective being. Underestimating itself, the young being is inclined to doubt everything and all. It goes in cycles in the shortcomings, snubs for misses, hides behind an indifference, derides pathos. The uncertainty in own sexual solvency connected with inexperience or failure of the first experiments can be added to it.
With age and experience the painful jealousy leaves, giving way to confidence and self-sufficiency. But sometimes youthful sharpness of jealousy accompanies also the adults who did not manage to cope quite with teenage suspiciousness and shyness.
Jealousy at adults
If children`s jealousy, thanks to special parental attention and care, can be minimized, then teenage weakens itself in process of a growing and strengthening of a self-assessment. The jealousy of the adult is most often caused by features of character.
People initially suspicious, impulsive, with unstable character, diffident, infantile are more inclined to jealousy. Some of them by all means want to see in the elect the mentor and reliable protection against struggles of life. And then any its deviation from this role can cause in the partner jealousy for fear to lose a support. The patron can have a jealousy from - for fear to be suddenly unclaimed, unnecessary “sponsored“ which suddenly begins to show too much independence.
Others, on the contrary, want to see the uncomplaining obedient wife or reverentially bent spouse in the partner. It is difficult for them to estimate the dignity of the real partner from - for the dream of an ideal living in heart. Therefore the second half, losing to an ideal, is almost doomed to jealousy torments. “And here in it, the main error of all female half of mankind consists: they fall in love with the one whom can be a man. And we too seldom correspond to your fictional ideal“, - Karen Moning`s hero complains.
The groundless jealousy arises and where between the partners living in the unregistered marriage rules of the relations do not make a reservation in advance. One sees them long and serious, and another considers itself free as did not make any promises. Often suffer from jealousy married or the relations not on love, and for everyday reasons. In general jealousy in young families of the imaginary rival - the competitor or the past - a natural stage. Here the lack of life experience, need to adapt to joint life, to solve such problems which newlyweds did not even guess earlier affects.
Among the reasons of jealousy of adults it is possible to call uncertainty in himself, a proprietary instinct, masking of unavailability to the deep relations, belief in “craftinesses“ of an opposite sex, a habit to control a situation, negative experience of the relations, and even own latent desire to change.
The jealousy reasons different at first sight actually have much in common... Anyway it is worth meaning that quality of the relations of two adults always depends on efforts and a contribution both of them.