Whether it is good to live fastened to a mother`s skirt?
Love of children sometimes take the different forms, for example, turns into pathology. Sometimes parents so strongly “love“ the child that they are not able to afford to take to it at least one independent step in any way, to gain own experience. In such families children very unadapted to life, not representing themselves out of a parental nest grow up.
Of course, some manage to resist successfully and over time completely to protect itself from hyper guardianship. But the majority should bear patiently burden of parental love many years. Than badly that adults try to protect the child from struggles of life? All problem is that they wish to preserve the treasure against normal life even then when it grew long ago. Consequences can be very unpleasant.
Many parents dream to see continuation of in children. At them for a long time everything is planned, and the main part of this list is made by their own unrealized plans and dreams. For example, the child attends art or music school because in due time mother had no such opportunity, and she very much wanted to learn to draw or play the piano. It is written down in sports section which to it is hated because the father once could not realize the good data.
On the one hand everything is quite good: parents lead the child`s life, diligently watch each his step, but with another - they do not even notice that a lot of things from this, than he is engaged, it is not pleasant to it and forces are not enough for everything. They perceive any miss of the child as a personal insult as they deprived of the child of the right for a mistake long ago. All progress considers personal and often speaks about it in plural: “at us it turned out“, “we reached“, “we won first place“.
Such perverted education leads to the fact that the child so gets used that parents know how it is better to arrive, so is afraid to take a wrong move that even chooses a profession on others pointer, is not able to build the relations with an opposite sex and to make independent decisions. Such person most often continues to live with parents and when is able to afford to live separately. It can not be solved on the serious relations, having remained lonely for the rest of life.
Nothing can change the line of conduct put in the childhood. Of course, there are exceptions when huge desire to do favorite thing or strong love, push the person on courageous actions, on resistance. As a result almost always touch with a family is lost.
One more reason of maniacal love to the child - uncomfortable private life. The women who are bringing up the child without father transfer all love to children as to give more it there is nobody. Choosing as object of love of own child, the woman is afraid to lose it and deprives of the right for own life. And does not come to its mind that the child is unhappy. Besides mother forgets at all that she is a woman, and considers herself obliged to live for the sake of the child, at heart blaming herself that could not give it a full-fledged family.
The women considering that sacrificed themselves to the child do not wish to release it, interfering with creation of private life. Daughters of such mothers enter adulthood with the slogan: all men villains and ladies` men. Sons are sure that any woman - the predator pursuing the mercantile interests. If children nevertheless manage to establish a family, mother is always dissatisfied with their choice, constantly interferes with the relations, trying to return everything to the former course. The family or breaks up, either own son or the daughter isolate mother from the life, giving the first place to darling.
To get rid of excessive parental love very not easy. Therefore if parents really want happiness to own children, they have to understand what threat contains in similar pathological love and not to allow extremes in the family. The child is more senior, the everything is less than chances to correct. It is necessary to realize the mistakes in time and to change a line of conduct, doing the children and is happier than itself.