What will we do with the boor?
Since morning call the girlfriend, sobs in a tube: “Came to work with ten-minute delay, so the chief shouted at me at all department. And me, by the way, 35! What I, errand girl?! He in general cannot normally speak - only with voices raised. And still the colleague of a gossip about me dismisses, I already try to catch on myself sidelong glances“.
Hard case … And it is valid what to do if someone from your environment constantly is rude, argues not on business and provokes scandal?
People - shouters meet: as that not on them - raise the voice. What with them to do? The main thing not to shout in reply or to try to take in hand - is useless. For a start quietly, without interrupting (yes, it is heavy, but it is necessary to try to restrain) listen and find out, than the aggressor is dissatisfied. At the same time you look to it in the face, rowdies are people with self-conceit so it is worth showing, as you - not a bast boards. Suppress it as it is necessary in fauna, a direct look. When it is uttered, quietly tell: “You finished? And now listen to me“ - and state the arguments.
Remember that rowdies feel aggression and readily answer the same. And it means - to be to war. Therefore do not criticize even if heard obvious nonsense, and it is veiled designate a problem.
For example, your colleague carelessly works on the project, snaps at remarks and strives to find out which of you is more main. You should not be interested with sarcasm: “To you what money pays for? Here on protection got?“ Better to say neutral tone: “How it seems to you, we will manage to finish the project in time if we work at the same slow speed? The solution is not found yet, new options are necessary“.
If your opponent (the relative, the friend) - the inveterate debater, do not take in head to drive him into the corner - will begin to bite! It is better to allow to do as he considers it necessary. When it begins problems, he will ask the help. In advance it to offer the main thing. And then any more not to reproach - “And! I spoke to you!“.
Well and if you have to work side by side with the foe about whose malignant gossip in own address you have reliable information, bring him to a straight talk. It is better, than every time to worry. Call him “to smoke“ and directly tell: “Express the claims personally to me. And that so will be muddled then that I and the truth will think that you hate me“.
It is possible to go in less painful way: find in this person at least one merit and it is sincere (!) praise it for it. Believe, even in the most base person there is some positive stroke. And praise disarms. And still it is necessary to praise as often as possible the enemy “for eyes“. Then people will apprehend its attacks in your address disapprovingly.
And generally at communication with difficult people it is necessary to follow two rules. The first is to allow the opponent to tell all that he considers it necessary if at the same time it does what is necessary for you. Shouts? Repeat as the worn-out plate: “On half-tone is lower, please!“. If did not listen - to be developed and just to leave.
The second - in disputes not to become personal. Offended you? Smile in reply. The more widely, the better!