Bifurcation, or That such “Rule of the necessary moment“?
the Rule of the necessary moment - absolutely magic rule which does our communication reasonable and effective.
For example, it is necessary to accustom the child that he, going outside, turned off for himself the light in a hall (took the mobile phone or said when returns). We remind him, and he forgets. We remind him again, he forgets again. How many swear, efficiency of our actions either low, or any. And what to do?
To remember an unknown word “bifurcation“.
“A bifurcation point“ - the concept from the technical dictionary, designates bifurcation: the short moment when the system can change in an unpredictable way an operating mode whether in one, whether in other party then there is no return to the past any more. The situation will become or one, or another. In relation to psychology - it is the moment when the person can easily make or not make something; to make one - or to make another.
When the person is in this point, the slightest pushing in a certain party gives the necessary effect. When this moment is passed - everything, passed, the point of a non-return is passed: it is only possible to swear, but the necessary result will not be any more.
And so, coming back to that the child turned off for himself the light in a hall. Question: when we lift this subject with the child? Usually we begin about it conversation when the child already returned from the street that is when it cannot really correct a situation any more. It means - at the wrong time, there is no bifurcation point here.
It is necessary to work in a different way. Namely: it is important not to be too lazy and appear near the child while he in a hall and only gathers for an exit. At the time of its collecting quietly ask when returns, prompt about the mobile phone and, having kissed, ask to turn off for yourself the light. Everything, you leave a hall, the child turns off the light and leaves to walk. He made everything and will make with pleasure, and if you also arrive further in the same way, it will become at it a habit soon.
The main difficulty - to organize itself. To remember about what we want to achieve. However, there is one useful circumstance: having faced how we forget own intentions, we with about lshy understanding will treat that the child forgets about our requests too.
Similarly: the husband went marketing, brought onions - bad. Sluggish, wet, still some. Standard reaction of the wife - to tell that he did not buy onions in that place any more because it brought onions nevazhnetskiya.
The wife on the husband did not swear, she told everything quietly and honestly, but the husband received a negative reinforcement for the work. And to the following time it, most likely, will already forget about the wife`s request, not that will bring something again, and the wife will already begin to become angry. Or to take offense at its inattention.
More wisely and responsibly - to thank the husband for purchase, to kiss and be engaged in affairs. But about onions to remember. And next time, when it will be going to the market, to give it extremely accurate instructions to whom to it to go or what to it to watch at when he chooses onions.
Yes, she needs to remember it. Yes, work “to remember“ is work too, and most often we try to throw off this work on another. But if we want to receive result and good relations, this work to us it is necessary to undertake. Probably, it is simply fair: it is we something we want from our relatives, so we and need to remember it. Ancient rule: “It is necessary for you - you and do!“
is Written by Ania, the wise wife: “If the husband has to make something large on the house, I discuss need of this business with it in the beginning. And then - I remind of it when there is free time which he still “did not credit“. For example, it was necessary to make a suspension bracket for the TV in kitchen that it did not take the place in the room, all the same we do not watch it. Quietly, quietly I keep myself in mind that it should be made. As soon as at the husband free day off was organized - the joint trip with friends broke, here I also appeared with a reminder: “And you wanted to transfer also the TV“. All is made - quickly, well with pleasure and without pileniye...“
Dear men to salt or not to salt porridge - this issue is resolved while the wife costs at a plate with a spoon and a saucepan. When porridge she already salted, already late, already all. And for an hour up to this point - too early, she already hundred times will forget all...
Remember, all your remarkable wishes should be published to relatives only the necessary minute. When not return point is not passed yet. Only when it is necessary.
Write a reminder and hang up in that place where you will be while it is useful for you to remember this instruction.