That it is better: sacred lie or bitter truth?
When I was small, the father taught me: “Always tell me the truth. The bitter truth, than sweet lie is better“. Parents created firm rules, and my frank recognitions always commuted a penalty. But the childhood ended, adulthood came.
Life in which is not present white and black is not present in pure form the good and evil. And everything is so difficult, ambiguous … And I continue to live “by rules“ and always honestly I answer questions. I even did not learn to hold back because it is not absolutely the truth too.
Still I remember history from the life. My child got sick. There was no wish to go to hospital. And we asked the nurse to come from policlinic to us to give injections. For a payment, naturally. And then, later long time, in policlinic questioning in which the question of rendering services was set by medical staff was carried out. And I honestly (silly and honestly) answered that yes, we used services such - that. This woman “was called for responsibility“. So I “thanked“ the person who helped us … The most interesting that I realized “ill turn“ not at once. Thought, ask - it is necessary to answer. What here it … Strange children`s naivety.
A typical situation when the jealous man - the man demands from the woman of frank recognition in the form of figure on a question: “How many at you was men to me?!“ And, how many you would have no men, all the same you will be bad. Even the figure “odin“ will constantly spin in consciousness of the jealous man in the form of colourful episodes. And it seems all of us are adults, we understand that everyone has the private life … Why the woman in this situation cannot keep silent? All have to have a right for the personal space, for the territory and for the secrets! “It is my life, that which was to you, and some of its aspects do not concern you“. It is pleasant to you, dear men, or not. As they say: “You know less, better you sleep!“
Ya already adult woman, in something self-sufficient. I make independent decisions and I realize them. But when my grown old father - the grandfather asked a direct question: “For whom voted?“ - I is honest and “creaking heart“ answered: “For Putin“. Well, I do not believe more in communism. But why to upset the father, to deprive of him some ideals, belief in bright future and that children understand it? There is no need. And I know it. Also I do not want to upset him. But the truth - is more important!
Why the one who changed suffers thoughts, to confess or not? It is your act, your sin, you it and bear. To admit to the partner, to ask forgiveness - it means to shift the psychological freight to it. From it it will become easier for you? No. In - the first, you did not forgive yourself, and in - the second, also to the loved one badly made. Better he would not know. Would live to himself in illusion that everything is good … It would be much more honest in this situation to change itself, the behavior models which pushed on such step. Any more never in life of it to do (if it is about preservation of the relations). But it - is heavier. It is simpler “to confess“.
Why to the girlfriend to tell that saw her husband with another? Perhaps, your girlfriend herself also guesses, everything feels, but does not want about it the nobility ! And here you came, such kind and honest, and broke its pink glasses. Perhaps, you feel “freight“, responsibility for its wellbeing, you are girlfriends … But here it is important to understand: her life, is her life, its choice, its decisions, its karma if you want. And you here - the third wheel.
And still the truth is necessary. I prefer to be honest before myself and people around, than the false coward. It is better to lead one, life, real, but not double. It is better to face the bitter truth and most never to put on “pink glasses“. It is better to live in harmony with the conscience, but not in “arrangement to a devil“. And sometimes people around should tell the bitter or inconvenient truth.
For example, in my opinion, the child on the question “From Where Children Undertake?“ should say from where they undertake. At a certain age of the child quite will arrange the answer: “From a mother`s tummy“. But if inquisitive minds demand concrete things, then find words and give the direct answer. It is better to be confused to mother or the father now, than then on the street of your son (or the daughter) peers cruelly obsmet. And if do not obsmet, then will devote in such details which mother with the father also did not guess.
And maybe, the girlfriend needs to tell the truth about her husband? Only when she will ask you. When becomes necessary to it the truth, but not you … Life is ambiguous
. Each situation - individual. And always the decision to tell the truth or not, to accept to you. There are no recipes on all cases. But there is the, internal truth. Internal kindness, mercy, wisdom.
Wonder, than you will do much harm more when you solve, to tell or keep silent. And then you will be able to make decisions correct, good.