Rus Articles Journal

How to get on the street? “News of our madhouse“ of

In our madhouse show hours time at three o`clock later, than on the street. It is connected with the fact that patients like to have a sleep in the morning longer and the rising sun very much irritates them. The administration in general wanted to reduce days by these three hours in the beginning, but the chief physician considered this measure so far too radical.

Once the chief physician decided to pass from the last floor of the establishment entrusted to it on the first on a yellow basin. All offered it the elevator, but the chief physician decided to be closer to the patients. The basin during travel three times broke, but accompanying persons quickly replaced it with other yellow basin. Having safely gone down to the cellar, the chief physician rubbed the bum hurt during descent, kicked a basin, not guilty of anything, with it never used any more. All madhouse was delighted with what was seen, and many patients started getting to themselves the same yellow basins.

Recently in a madhouse knocked from the street, and even tried to break open in it an entrance door. And still from there shouted: “Freedom to patients!“ The chief physician collected all staff in the hall and asked:

- You want there, on the street? There, where rain, sun, wind? Cold winter, hot summer? You want to change the heated mattresses and lentil soup three times a day for it?

And nobody, of course, agreed.

Somehow the chief physician decided to check quality of water in the pool. Dived and at once got two chamber-pots from a bottom. To patients at once declared that still Guy Julius Caesar and Alexander of Macedon used these pots. As they got to the pool at monthly shift of water in it - unclear. But inhabitants of a madhouse believed. However, as well as to any other information message from administration.

In a madhouse very much like to watch TV. Especially, when in it show the chief physician. However, anything else is also not shown. Ah, no. About weather on floors and “News of our madhouse“.

Sometimes from a madhouse some abnormal patients try to run away. As abnormal they are considered by the vast majority of inhabitants of a madhouse. Fugitives are caught and insert to them in addition on one enema on compulsory daily procedures. In the hall of a madhouse the slogan “Our House - a Madhouse“ hangs.

The chair of the chief physician is occupied sometimes by his deputy for the general questions. Its function - to keep chair temperature before return of the owner. When that comes and speaks: “Shoo“, the deputy obediently goes to check correctness of installation of enemas at patients.

The power in a madhouse belongs to patients. At least, it is so written in the charter of institution. Therefore there sometimes it is necessary to hold elections of the chief physician. Before them carried out time in 4 years. But then everything bothered to gather so often in the hall and to raise hands pro, and to the acting chief physician automatically threw with two more.

And on the last elections the chief physician brought together all the wards in the hall and told:

- Earlier we lived just in a madhouse. Let`s live in the Great Madhouse now.

And all supported it by a roar of delight. And the chief physician shed a few tears and ordered shouting in honor of a holiday to deliver to all on an additional enema.

Shouts from the street still disturb inhabitants of a madhouse. The chief physician even wanted to let out all patients outside that those on - fast dealt with shouters. But chiefs of offices to it advised against. Like, will run up still. Bring together them then. Like, fresh air can bring many of them round. And who will chop firewood and to heat furnaces?

By the way, the madhouse practices sale of firewood by another, to establishments normal already. On this income also there lives both the chief physician, and administration. On this income patients receive the lentil soup. Firewood - a basis of wellbeing of all madhouse. Some patients suspect that the administration sells part of firewood on the left. It at once register bromine, an electroshock, wet sheets and additional enemas.

Recently one of chiefs of offices suggested to rename a position of the Chief physician into God. At first he was wanted to be supported. Then to send to a madhouse. Then remembered that it and so there is.

Yes, those three hours on which there are inhabitants of a madhouse later decided everything - to cancel. Now they will get up at three o`clock earlier.

Time in a madhouse goes under the laws. Will allow to establish to each chamber it soon as who will wish. Let to themselves shooters to and fro, to and fro twist. If only did not revolt and did not ask on the street. And that shouts are louder and louder from there.

“Freedom to patients of a madhouse“!

And it is necessary to them?