How many interlocutors participate in dialogue?
really participate In simple interaction of two people much more than two “interlocutors“. And split personality here at anything. The person not the hero of the comic book, we are not odnoplanova and not really - that are complete.
At each of us under “umbrella“ of one personality there are several subpersons at once (we will call them so, understanding all convention of such name). And everyone enters dialogue with all the installations, the purposes and methods of their achievement!
Extremely seldom their voices merge in harmonous chorus and sound harmoniously. More often each subpersonality anyway strives to draw a blanket on herself. They conduct in us infinite internal conversations. It we altercate with them and we mill the wind, spending time and forces for fight with by itself.
And in interaction with another too often the truth is “told“ by one subpersonality, and speaks aloud absolutely other, one everything understands correctly, and another gets out into the forefront, inspiring in us the lie which was more acceptable for us. There is such internal zoo.
Let`s sort it on an example. We will follow an example from eternal popular wisdom, that is a joke:
Sits the Baba-yaga on hemp, Koshchey Bessmertny flies up to it. - Hear
, the hag, marry me!
- Leave alone, old, not for you the rose blossomed!
You think, before you there was a dialogue, that is conversation of two persons? Actually at conversation there are six (at least!) “conditional persons“, or subpersons.
1. and 2. Actually the Baba-yaga and Koshchey Bessmertny as they are (“I - real“).
3. A baba-yaga as she sees herself - that the “eternally young rose“ which is slightly limping that she only adds it charm in own eyes.
4. Koshchey Bessmertny, as he sees himself, - it is probable, a little thin young man rich and succeeded both in military business, and in sciences (the famous sorcerer).
5. The baba-yaga in Koshchey`s representation - quite good option, has knowledge of magic and herbs, owns a wood site, own living space (hut on chicken legs) and personal vehicles (mortar). Though, judging by the address “hag“, not too suits it according to external data.
6. Koshchey Bessmertny from the point of view of the Baba-yaga is the old man who was repeatedly asking in marriage and many times unsuccessfully married.
7. Baba-yaga as she sees herself Koshchey`s eyes, - “let`s directly tell, magnificent party for me, an old goat!“ So, it is possible to dare to pokochevryazhitsya. Eventually, where he will get to - will woo still.
8. Koshchey Bessmertny, as he sees himself eyes of the Baba-yaga, - “I will be a silly woman if I refuse to such rich educated good fellow“.
Total - 8 characters! And the real Baba-yaga does not suspect how it actually looks in the opinion of Koshchey. As well Koshchey does not know what it is seen by Yaga, and his assumptions in this respect widly of the mark. And other subpersons are not in direct contact with each other at all.
Moreover, the self-presented personality - how the person is perceived by itself, - usually and does not suspect about similar plurality. Even between image of and what the person is actually the vast majority of us has an enormous gap. Therefore if you have a dispute, you remember: in each case you are not lonely as also your interlocutor is not lonely. And the more a gap between the real personality and her idea of itself, the communication and the less probability to be correctly understood interlocutor is less exact.
Notice, we considered extremely simplified situation - only two interlocutors. Once the third participant is connected, his subpersons also will be added to “conference“. And not only! The participant of a trio perceives not only two other participants separately, he sees them also together - as the interacting couple. And such couple is observed by each of participants of a trio. If it is even more interlocutors, the number of the virtual “subjects“ participating in conversation grows in a progression.
Try to observe yourself and the interlocutors from the point of view of “multiple subpersons“. Perhaps, you will notice a lot of interesting and unexpected. And who knows whether it will help to make communication more transparent?