From where mistresses undertake?
Once, after the next quarrel, I told the husband: “Why you do not give yourself the chance to compare me to other women? Really you consider that my hysterics some special? Yes any woman would behave on my place quite so, and can even worse. Well, communicate you to them, find the friend - the woman, ask. And you will understand that I even am better“.
I was sure of myself and of the correctness. And my man positioned himself the person very decent and strict customs. It seemed to it that to communicate with other women it is all the same what to change. And I treated it much more simply. The jealousy was always alien and unfamiliar to me. And as “allowed“ it, in the next quarrel he came to a dating site, positioning itself(himself) as the friend, and began to communicate with one woman. They entered the friendly relations.
The man had an opportunity to share impressions of the next quarrel, “to be cried on shoulder“ and to receive those “subtyranny of snivels“ which grew hateful to me by then. (It were his important requirements.) It even showed me her letters as though justified itself before by itself: “At us everything is honest, we are friends“. I was not jealous and did not experience any excess emotions about it: “If you found really true friend who can help you, then I only am glad“. But I felt by some gut female feeling that on that party the woman has quite certain intentions. Very quickly I in general forgot about this communication …
to the Skilled woman simply to guess that “unostentatious, lovely, friendly“ communication was one of the parting reasons subsequently. But why so occurred? The answer is not so obvious as it seems … to
At any man (as well as the woman) has a set of internal requirements . Can be such requirements:
desire to feel necessary, useful
need to get support and approval always when it it wants
requirement to feel successful, attractive, demanded
desire to rule, to feel main, strong, courageous etc.
self-affirmation through the relations and success at an opposite sex
need for love
I many others. At everyone - the.
These desires push us on precipitate, sometimes rash acts. We pursue realization of the requirements and we look for it outside (though, true realization can be only in us).
My husband always positioning himself the honest family man decided on change because of lack of an opportunity to procrastinate the experiences, to obtain “evidence“ of love etc. in the relations with me. It is not about sensible desires of any person. And about the painful, excessive, exaggerated requirements which appear above any reason and even the principles and canons of behavior.
Mistresses (and lovers) undertake from unrealized desires and feelings of your partner.
Thus if your husband decided on change, it means, in the relations with you he has no satisfaction of the requirements. At the same time he, as a rule, does not realize the true reasons of the change. And often suffers from need to make the choice, from impossibility to build the desirable relations freely and easily, and it is frequent so that in the relations with you it receives one, and in the relations with the mistress another (in these cases the man or the woman cannot long make a final choice).
But whether it means that in order to avoid change, it is necessary to correspond to desires of the husband?
you should not lose yourself and change yourself for the sake of someone.
But it means that it is necessary to grow up itself, to take care of itself, to begin to love itself as your husband was not able to do it … It means, it is time to change itself for the sake of itself. If you want to reach, of course, in the life happiness and wellbeing.