“Mother, buy!“ How to react?
Many mothers are afraid to go shopping with the child because are afraid of the compliance. And all - - to indulge the child with a new toy or sweet once again, or with firmness to hold the fort to the last?
Poor-mouth, eliciting purchase, usually the children who are not deprived of delicacies and toys at all. At such child most often the nursery is filled with toys to a limit, and nevertheless the first bright packing causes a syndrome “I want“. What is not enough for it and when it stops?
Many parents are sure that it is all about envy: children want the same things and toys, as at peers. But it not absolutely so. Happens that the child just lacks attention, and his infinite begging something - attempt to attract attention, to become for some time “highlight of the program“.
Sometimes on desire to possess something new the child is pushed by simple boredom. If he loafs about all day, without representing, than to occupy itself why not to disperse melancholy - grieve with new acquisitions? The toy in fact will fill a lack of love and communication with parents.
There are children for which the main thing - to take pleasure from purchase process. In half an hour if not earlier, the gift is thrown in a far corner and it is forgotten. Psychologists claim that at such children the imagination is poorly developed - they just do not know what to do with the bought thing. These are parental misses too: it is not enough to buy a toy, it is always necessary to tell and show how to play with it.
The child reaches age of total volition unexpectedly: still yesterday it was possible to visit quietly with it children`s shop or a supermarket, and today the child as if was changed. Quite often business reaches a hysterics, cries and stamping by legs. To avoid similar situations, parents prefer to make shopping without children. But completely it is unreasonable to discharge the child of visits of shop: small children with big awe treat those things which chose. Understanding of the participation in shopping raises a self-assessment.
How at the same time to moderate appetites of the baby - here in what a question. It needs extremely to be made, otherwise he already since the childhood will forget to rejoice to gifts, having got a false idea himself the center of the world. The child has to learn the price to money as soon as possible. Gathering with it behind purchases, it is better to make the list in advance and to interest in it the child. Is not able to read - it is possible to draw what should be bought. Let the child help to put in a thing basket, listed in the list, and checks whether they with mother put something superfluous.
You should not do large gifts without cause. Indulging the child constantly, parents deprive of his feeling of a holiday. But also you should not turn a gift into an award too. The child, of course, will try to make for the sake of remuneration that demand from it, but such relations begin to look like purchase and sale. In the future the question “What to Me for It Will Be?“ can become the key phrase in its relationship with parents.
It is not necessary to respond on children`s requests “to buy though something“. If parents easily agree in such situations, most likely, some inferiority complex disappears here - for example, “let our children will have what we did not have“. Sometimes parents by means of a set of purchases try to get rid of sense of guilt, replacing a lack of attention with toys and delicacies.
The child`s requests should not pass into orders, differently a manipulation with parents since the childhood at all he will transfer also to adulthood. Even the most loyal mother needs to remember - still nobody cancelled respect for seniors.