Conversation on a roof of
- The Father, you have time to talk to me?
- Of course, I always have a daughter for you time!
Natashka sat on a roof. Here she most of all liked to talk to the father. Many years she did not know it and when they at last met, it was so strange to get used to it. Literally everything that she thought earlier about it is mute, it appeared absolutely not so. And character at it was absolutely another, than it was told by other people saying that they know it earlier. And it had habits others, and motives of behavior. However, the last - it she in vain so told. Motives of behavior of the father Natashke were not clear even still.
Here, say, now: well what he here with it sits, potters? She is not a little girl? You will think, fell in love - well and that! Itself also deal with the problems what to the father - that to climb. And all this is frivolous. And here not, sits, listens, smiles and supports.
- The daddy, well if not you that I did? Already, probably, from a roof would chip in together from surplus of the feelings overflowing me, doubts, uncertainty, a nerazdelennost...
- Foolish! Would not chip in together! Unless it is not interesting to you to watch this movie to the end and to learn, than everything will end? - the father never perceived seriously her silly words about a suicide or other similar nonsense. And it so soothingly affected Natashka. Near the father she precisely knew that she will never chip in together and will not rush and will not make something another on what its hot nature sometimes pushed. Near it so … it was healthy! Also it became absolutely unimportant, this Vladik loves it or does not love. It was most important to know and feel that it is loved by him, the FATHER.
Natashka took a delighted look of the city spread before her. Yes, all - to sit on a roof 20 - the floor house - it something!!! The flaw disheveled it already an unruly red hair. She deeply inhaled … This arrived from where - that the smell bore to something to it so a strong resemblance. Only that?...
- Daddy! Well you know everything! He loves me how you think? Here you, for example, could fall in love with such girl how I?
- Always loved and I will love! Unless it is possible not to love you?! - the father tenderly looked at it and, as always, smiled.
Natashka loudly burst out laughing:
- Well and nonsenses I bear! Of course, you are a father! How the father can not love the child? And here to fall in love such love which … well, itself you understand … - she turned an eye somewhere far again, there, where the horizon came to an end and began … what? Perhaps infinity? Or perhaps other worlds? Fine, surprising, impossible! Where there are no sufferings! There is no pain, doubts, there is no lostness! Where it is good everything, all are happy also everyone on the place!
And where its place, Natashki? Really here only here, on a roof where she felt freely and quietly and from where so there was no wish to come back … … to the world of people … to the duties and necessary affairs down?
- The Father, me it is so sad … What to do to me? I so am afraid of new disappointment in love. You remember how I nearly died from a grief when I was thrown by Kostik? And so I am afraid to fall in love &ndash again; really, carelessly, to trust in the one who, maybe, is not capable to estimate it … at all
Natashka fingered a tip of a green scarf which so amazingly was in harmony with color of her eyes.
- The Daughter, and unless it is possible though in this life to receive something, without taking the risk? - she felt how the father admires her red ringlets and huge green eyes in which there was so many naivety and children`s naivete. - Think about my life - unless it was no continuous risk? And how many condemn me now for what I made? But I am not sorry about anything … Natashkina`s
of an eye were filled with tears - yes, she knew, already knew history of huge father`s love and what he made for the sake of this love. Very few people are capable of it. It is not excluded that only he one also could make it. And Natashka once again admired its act. And still very quietly thought: as it is exciting to be the daughter of Such Father!
- Father! But you think - I will love it here, I will give it all soul, all heart, all myself, and it is time, and will tell one fine day: well and the silly woman, nobody asked you. How after that it is possible to continue to live further?
the Father some time was silent, and then thoughtfully said:
- It happened To me not once or twice. When you start on the journey, there are always two possible result of your travel. Or you will achieve the objectives, or not. But to choose only to you: whether you agree to at the end to be left with nothing?
- And for what? What sense in it? - Natashka already shouted, not in forces to constrain what became painful and what so strongly forced it to suffer today.
- Sense, you speak? Perhaps it is also not obvious, - the father smiled again. - But take and compare: life without sufferings, but also without love, or life with love even if she also forces you to suffer sometimes.
Natashka reflected. All these years - how many they passed there? - she loved nobody and … as if did not live. Yes, promoted on an office ladder, graduated from two institutes, won reputation of the serious and unshakable businesswoman. But unless it did not smell slightly of any carrion?
And it was worth falling in love - and at once everything became another: and people became kinder and generous, and work became more interesting, and it became … real, perhaps? Mad, impatient, eccentrical, foolish, objectionable - but real! By itself! And, in confidence, it very much was even pleasant to it!.
Natashka rose. The new flaw lashed on the person and forced to blink. And again this smell … She suddenly understood: so in the childhood burned autumn leaves smelled. How long did not catch this smell … And a lot of things another ceased to notice long ago … No, I do not want to live more still, I do not want to exist … I want to LIVE!!! And when opened eyes, saw the new sky - directly at the horizon brightly - pink strips alternated in gray thin strips and caused a strange feeling of unreality and completeness at the same time.
- Yes, the father, you, as always, are right! Where I will be able without love? - Natashka got the mobile phone from a pocket and fast found the necessary name in the telephone book. - Hi, Vladik! What, at the wrong time? Well, I will call back later …
For a second became angry on herself. And then threw the head back and burst out laughing:
- You See, fathers, I am incorrigible! But it is good that I have you! Natashk`s
sat down on hunkers, lifted a small icon from a dusty surface of a roof and kissed. Watched a smiling face of God at it …