Rus Articles Journal

Beginning of the relations: “red bulbs“. What strains us and as with it to be?

at the beginning of any relations are important to listen to itself, to pay attention to everything that it guards. Further these moments will become the reason of all quarrels and misunderstanding.

Be responsible before by itself, in time make a choice. Or be going to accept shortcomings of the darling without claims, or leave right now, yet it is not so sick. Manipulations and desire to change the loved one can play a dirty trick in the relations.

... For the third day of our acquaintance to my darling the first absolutely incidentally was found “a red bulb“. I was called by one of the former boyfriends. In quite decent evening. Asked, how are you. In general, polite small talk. Then (the man of my dream) began to specify MMM that yes as. And I, honest to horror, told that the admirer called. It appeared enough that to the successful business man to retire into oneself. With a face of the offended and heart-broken child he turned away from me, was inflated and hanged in the thoughts.

I at first had a fair bewilderment, even rejection. It was absolutely clear: I am not ready to accept such behavior, it is unpleasant to me! Then all arguments of prudence were blocked by my internal imperfections. There was panic: “And suddenly I am not loved?“ and “As I could offend the person?“... And everything poured out in “a podtiraniye of snivels“:

- My dear what happened?
Silence …
- Well, I understand, you were upset by a call. But it is nonsense. I only love you, and nobody is necessary to me any more. Good you are my, only, remarkable little man. Well as it is possible to be upset on such nonsense. Yes to me nobody, except you, is necessary.
in reply begin to slip “obizhalka“:
- Why then call you? (Having inflated detsko - man`s sponges.)

Well, and in such spirit … There is no desire to continue to describe this performance. But it comes to an end with gratitude that I “did not leave him in trouble“ that “sympathetic and not indifferent“. And sweet feeling inside - “I am loved“ …

my further life dazzled not that with bulbs - “red searchlights“. My darling, the director of one of departments of the largest regional bank, in a rush of feelings could settle on a floor before a door, having curled up in a ball and with insult snuffling because he was offended …

Ya agreed to suffering its shortcomings, for the sake of receiving love. But internal, true acceptance was not, and we swore often. Sometimes every day …

my mistake in these quarrels was the fact that I did not accept shortcomings of the man, tried to change it, manipulated it, and it, in turn, caused his discontent. But in a different way also could not be. Because the main thing in the relations - acceptance .

If you cannot accept, leave. Nobody should not nothing to anybody. And if you chose this man, you him accept it and rejoice to it, but not he has to “deserve your love“.

to be able to make the choice (but not to cling to everyone by the passing man), needs to work the internal painful feelings. In my case shortage of love was internal painful feeling. This requirement operated my acts. I could not break off the relation in due time and as it seemed to me, went to compromises to which in itself it was not ready at all. But it was not capable to hear it in herself. The desire to feel though a shred of love to itself … by

About what my love what it was necessary to endure the conflicts led me to and as I coped with them, - in the following articles devoted to a love subject was too strong.

Love and good luck to you!